Parents are awesome. My dad, for example, has this thing where when he offers you something to try a bite of, you absolutely have to try a bite. When we were little he tried getting us kids to eat rhubarb, and, for whatever reason, we didn't want to try it. So, my dad being hilarious and awesome, used to chase us around with a stalk of rhubarb and pin us down and shove the rhubarb in our mouths (we're laughing and shrieking the whole time). The three of us refuse to eat rhubarb even to this day because of this. If you ask him about it now, he says, "Well, I dipped it in sugar first," as if that somehow makes it perfectly reasonable.
4. I'm torn between wanting to fist bump the dad for his hilarious awesomeness, and also feeling sorry for the date and the girl
8. I love that they didn't feel the need to get a different card. They went with the "oh well" approach to it. That's how you know it's important