Your rite of passage as a man is not complete until you participate in a pointless bar fight. And while a bar brawl may not be conducive to your well-being, having the right people beside you during those crucial moments allows you to make it out unscathed and with your manhood intact. And since we have nothing better to do at the TSS offices, we decided to bring you 13 NBA ballers we'd want on our side when the chairs start getting thrown.
We all know about the infamous Fight Club session nearly a decade ago at The Palace Of Auburn Hills. You know, the one when cameras caught then-Indy Pacer Stephen Jackson giving knuckle sandwiches with no questions asked. Then, when you'd think Jackson couldn't top that performance, he gets his Shyne on outside a seedy strip club and licks a few shots in the air. Now tell me that's not the type of company you'd like to have in your corner when the beef gets cooked.
Demarcus Cousins reminds us of that type of guy the great Dennis Coles once eloquently described with disdain. You know, them smart-dumb n*ggas that may have all of the talent in the world but does foolish things to shoot themselves in the foot. We all know him. That homie that can't seem to get right: always getting in his own way because of some nonsense. They're usually slow to reason and have hot tempers, which is what causes 99.9% of bar fights in the first place. Do the math.
While we're not sure if a professional diagnosis has been made, it's safe to say that Delonte West doesn't have all of the screws intact.
Zach Randolph is regarded in NBA circles as one not to be f*cked with. The only thing you have to worry about is somehow getting on his bad side, as he has been known to even flip on allies at times. Just ask Reuben Patterson how Z-Bo gets down.
Metta World Peace
Absolutely the most self-explanatory guy for this list. He may change his name (and be under psychiatric care), but the beast inside of Ron-Ron never rests.