It took me five episodes to finally call Ryan Lochte’s E! reality series, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, a dead fish, and that was being incredibly generous because I wanted to stop watching after five minutes of the first episode. And just as our traffic on my recaps trailed off as fast as the ratings on Lochte’s show, E! has followed in my footsteps and also canceled Lochte’s series. In fact, according to the HuffPo, WWRLD? debuted with 800,000 viewers (I’m guessing at least 30% were ironic) but recorded just 300,000 for the season finale. While E! reps claim that the network would love to work with Lochte again, let’s be serious. There’s no way this guy is getting back on TV unless it involves a swimming pool and the Summer Olympics, dancing with other pseudo-celebrities or starring as ABC’s The Bachelor. I’d also be all for a 30 Rock spin-off called Sex Idiot, but only if it has Tina Fey calling the shots, and I don’t think she’d be interested. So I thought maybe I could help my boy Ry-Lo out with some fresh, dope ideas that he and his manager/black friend can pitch to people in Hollywood.
Really Late With Ryan Lochte
This is a late, late night talk show format that features Lochte as the host. Except, he doesn’t speak at all. Random people in the audience will ask the celebrity guests questions while Lochte just reacts and makes faces to their answers.