When you have a dog (or three), your life tends to revolve around them. And before you know it, you've started to display some bizarre behavior.
You get seriously offended when guests ask you to "put the dog away."
Your floor is covered with squeaky stuffed animals, rawhides, and the remnants of God-knows-what.
You're accustomed to sleeping with only a couple of inches of space to work with
You know your canine neighbors better than your human neighbors
Your dog eats better than you do
You've accepted that your clothes, furniture, and life is destined to be covered in hair
You are always finding (hopefully unused) plastic bags in your pockets
You keep buying expensive beds and toys (even though you know they'll never get used)
You aren't even remotely joking when you refer to your dog as your "furry kid."
You are immediately more attracted to someone if they mention they have a dog...
And you immediately decide you don't trust them if they say they don't like dogs.
You talk in an annoying, high-pitched voice for about 40% of the day
You have a special place in your heart for toll booth workers who see the dog(s) in your car and offer you a dog treat for them
Your 6:30 a.m. alarm is a wet nose in your face.
You don't mind when a human dies in a movie, but if the dog dies, you're done for.
You get mild anxiety when you're at someone else's house and they leave food on a short table
You've gone out of your way to help a loose or stray dog on the side of the road.
Your dog gets Christmas presents just like everyone else... wrapping paper and bow included.
You believe that slobber is just a part of life.
Your family understands that when you come to visit, your dog is coming, too.
You have a habit of spelling out words instead of just saying them.
Your partner has said, "You love that dog more than you love me."
You consider your dog your best friend, therapist, and most trusted confidant.
Despite all the fur, poop, and destroyed shoes, you know that nothing could ever be as special as the amazing dogs in your life.