When you have nothing to offer, you make a sex tape.
When you have the name recognition from a sex tape but nothing else to offer, you get a VH1 reality show.
When you finally realize you’re completely irrelevant save for the same last name as a B-to-C-list singer, you release a song about your sex tape partner who got you your reality show.
Cue non-entity Ray J’s new single, ‘I Hit It First,’ about Kim Kardashian.
“She may move on to rappers and ball players,” Ray J eloquently croons on the song, which features a pixelated photo of K.K. on the beach in 2008, “but we all know I hit it first.”
Yes. We do. Which means this, this and this are your fault, bro.
Other charming lines? “I had her head going north and her ass going south / But now baby chose to go West / No matter where she goes or who she knows / She still belongs in my bed” and “Girl if you come back to me / We can make another movie.”
The song is essentially attacking Kardashian for daring to sleep with or date anyone other than the rapper, because God forbid a girl upgrade.
On the bright side, we bet both of Ray J’s fans really dig this song.