A wise man once said "Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional". Being an adult isn't just the day you turn 18. You can be a kid forever after 18, if you do it right. Whether you are an angst-ridden, analytical and unanimously mature 16-year-old, an “officially adult” 18, or a wine-purchasing 21, it can be hard to mark the exact moment when one truly becomes an adult. If you, like me, can’t quite figure out when we complete our journey past the threshold of grown-up-ness and into the qualms of adult life, I may have the solution. The following is a short, completely accurate list of seven ways to determine one’s position on the adulthood spectrum. Check three items or fewer and continue to enjoy your youth. Check three and a half and I’m sorry about the pimples. Check four? Congratulations, adult—you made it. P.S. Rent is due.
You have been following the presidential race for at least two years.
You have purposely purchased a sample packet of peanut butter instead of the whole jar.
You’ve called BS on a cab’s “not working” credit card machine.
A parent/spouse/best friend has forgotten your birthday.
You have accidentally ordered a whole fish.
You fear seagulls or pelicans or both.