Apparently St. Patrick’s Day isn’t just about drinking, fighting and public urination (but don’t get us wrong, it is about that too). Luckily, here to explain the true meaning of the day celebrating all things Irish is Kristen Stewart (or at least a sputtering, blinking impression of her.)
In another edition of Barely Political‘s, ’K-Stew Explains,’ fake Kristen takes us through the factual (?) history of what has made St. Paddy’s Day what it is today.
So here’s what we got: St. Patrick was punished to Ireland and made a shepherd; the Irish were too hammered to understand the Holy Trinity, so he related it to a shamrock; Neil Patrick Harris is only 1/3 Patrick; St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland by getting them drunk, and then he created the Shamrock Shake.
If this doesn’t seem accurate enough for your tastes, check out our history of St. Patrick’s Day as told by pictures of Patrick Stewart (we only put Dr. Crusher in one of them).