Here is a compilation of dogs sticking their heads out car windows set to the song “Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop)” by Scatman John. Why aren’t you watching it yet? What could I possibly be saying here that is more important than that? Nothing, that’s what. Stop reading these words and scroll down. Do it. Do it now. AHHHHH YOU’RE STILL READING. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? Here we are, on a post-holiday Monday, and I’m trying to show you a video that will make your day (if not your whole week), but you won’t you let me help you. This self-destructive streak has to stop. Are you still seeing Dr. Berkowitz? You were doing so much better when you were. No no, don’t leave. Stay. I’m sorry for prying. It’s just that your mother and I are worried.
Promise me you’ll watch the video. That’s all I ask.