"She asked for Hairspray but I played the broadway soundtrack instead of the movie soundtrack so I'm an asshole."
"Meltdown because daddy won't let me play with the drill."
"I won't let her take a bath with the cat so I'm an asshole."
"I built him a fort and then he immediately destroyed it so I'm an asshole."
"He can't drink his cereal milk through his straw because it has cereal stuck in it, so I'm an asshole."
"Much rage and disappointment due to the fact that I'm not making the moon come back."
"There was a tiny piece of cilantro in her burrito so I'm an asshole."
"I only bought chocolate chip cookies."
"Bought him the exact ice cream cone he wanted but he decided 1/3 of the way into the cone that he wanted a shake instead. So i'm an asshole parent now."
"I took her on a nice vacation but I asked for a photo so I'm an asshole."