While Mariano Rivera was busy being serenaded by Metallica and cheered and worshiped by millions of people in New York City on Sunday, Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was driving in four runs to help ease the sting of his team’s 13-9 loss to the San Diego Padres in a duel of two teams just padding stats. However, one Rockies fan helped ease the additional sting of another season with no playoffs hope by showing Helton a painting of him as a centaur. This makes that adorable kid who drew the picture of Starling Marte look like a real amateur. When I saw these pictures last night, I started wondering, “Why do I make fun of Alex Rodriguez for having two huge paintings of himself as a centaur in his home, but I look at this Helton painting and wish someone would make me a centaur?” Two reasons: 1) Alex Rodriguez commissioned his own paintings, which makes him an arrogant douchebag, while someone made this painting for Helton; 2) A-Rod is a massive arrogant douchebag while Helton is only a pretty big douchebag.
A Rockies Fan Showed Todd Helton A Painting Of Him As A Centaur