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Slash Performs New Song on 'Conan'
30 sep 2013 12:47

When you’re one of the most famous guitarists on the planet and you’re making a move into filmmaking, it’s pretty much a given that you’re going to make an appearance on your first movie’s soundtrack, right? That seemed a fairly foregone conclusion when we heard that Slash was heading for Hollywood with his Slasher Films production company, and now that Slasher’s first movie, ‘Nothing Left to Fear,’ is on its way to theaters, we’re getting our first taste of the Slash-assisted soundtrack album. He appeared on the ‘Conan’ show last night with his musical buddy Myles Kennedy, and the duo performed a new song titled — you guessed it — ‘Nothing Left to Fear.’ Written and produced in collaboration with composer Nicholas O’Toole, the ‘Nothing Left to Fear’ soundtrack consists mainly of the movie’s score, with a pair of songs — the title track and an instrumental called ‘The Road to Stull’ — rounding out the 32-track CD. According to Slash, the process gave him an opportunity to explore a different side of his artistic personality. As he put it in a press release, “Film scoring prompts me to engage different styles of writing and guitar playing that don’t always present themselves when I make rock ‘n’ roll records.” The film itself is set to debut in limited release on Oct. 4, and promises “a harrowing tale in the spirit of the terrifying horror films of the 1970s” with a story “inspired by the legend of Stull, Kansas, which is surrounded by Internet folklore proclaiming the town to be one of the Seven Gateways to Hell.” Have a look at the footage above, and let us know if the song brings Midwestern demons to mind.

When you’re one of the most famous guitarists on the planet and you’re making a move into filmmaking, it’s pretty much a given that you’re going to make an appearance on your first movie’s soundtrack, ...

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Watch an Exclusive Metallica 'Through the Never' Featurette
30 sep 2013 12:44

Metallica release their long-awaited 3D concert film ‘Metallica Through the Never’ at IMAX theaters nationwide today, with the movie arriving in regular theaters a week later. We’re partnering with our sister sites Loudwire, Noisecreep and ScreenCrush to bring you this exclusive behind-the-scenes featurette. ‘Hit the Lights: The Making of ‘Metallica Through the Never’ – Chapter 8: The Fans’ chronicles the band’s shows at the Palacio del los Deportes in Mexico City in the summer of 2012 that played to 170,000 people over eight nights. The dates served as a dress rehearsal for the concert that was filmed for the movie, which was performed at the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, on Aug. 24, 2012. The nearly six-minute clip shows the depth of Metallica’s Mexican fan base, which includes a duo that’s traveled all across Latin America to see them and Mexican wrestler Axel “Nieto del Santo,” who shows up in full luchador regalia. You see the band meeting fans backstage and bassist Robert Trujillo describing the sheer force of the crowd’s enthusiasm from the moment they began the first concert. “IMAX! It doesn’t get bigger or cooler than that!” Lars Ulrich said about the movie in a press release. “For four guys in a rock band of average height, to get a chance to unleash their 3D film on IMAX screens the size of buildings across the country is a mind-blowing thought. ‘Hey look, Mom, I’m 50 feet tall (finally!)’ There is no better way to experience film and when you throw in the spectacle of music and sound this should amount to an unprecedented, unique and truly next level experience.”

Metallica release their long-awaited 3D concert film ‘Metallica Through the Never’ at IMAX theaters nationwide today, with the movie arriving in regular theaters a week later.

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Gene Simmons, Neal Schon + Jonathan Cain: National Anthem Roundup
30 sep 2013 12:42

If you felt an extra burst of patriotism this past weekend, it may have been because of what a few of your favorite classic rockers were up to. As we previously reported, Gene Simmons of Kiss headed to London over the weekend, where he helped kick off a special U.K.-hosted matchup between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Minnesota Vikings by performing the national anthem. We’ve seen Simmons sing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ before — he did it at an Oakland Raiders game in 2012 — but if you’re eager to hear his latest take on the tune, you can watch it in the video above. Meanwhile, back in the U.S.A., Neal Schon and Jonathan Cain of Journey fulfilled their previously reported obligation to travel to Tempe, Ariz., and perform their own rendition of the anthem before the Arizona State-USC game on Sept. 28. As you can probably guess, Schon and Cain took a different approach to the song, putting together an arrangement for keyboards and guitar rather than the standard a cappella version, but the crowd didn’t seem to mind the lack of vocal pyrotechnics. You can watch Schon and Cain’s ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ below, and decide which version you prefer — theirs or Simmons’. Or maybe some enterprising soul with the right software can give us all the best of both worlds by mashing both versions together to create a classic-rock national anthem megamix.

If you felt an extra burst of patriotism this past weekend, it may have been because of what a few of your favorite classic rockers were up to.

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Killzone: Shadow Fall Digital Version Weighs in at 50GB
30 sep 2013 12:37

The move to digital versions of games has been a long time coming, but the size of next-gen titles on the PlayStation 4 might be counter-intuitive for those looking to save of hard drive space. In a recent Q&A will Eurogamer, Sony UK boss Fergal Gara talked a bit about the move to digital downloads. The PlayStation 4 will offer the ability to play games as they download from the web, but as Gara explains, file size might make the feature underutilized. “[There] are big innovations in the PS4 to make it more attractive and more easy gamer wise to want to download,” Gara said. “The Play as you Download functionality, for example, means you don’t need the whole file before you go. This is a little bit counterbalanced by the fact the files themselves are getting bloody big. Killzone: Shadow Fall is an uber file – I think it’s cracking on for 50GB. It looks it, too, when you see it.” Considering the PS4 ships with a 500GB hard drive, which will have some space already squared away for operations, there won’t be a whole lot of space left over for games of that size. While it’s true you could always add an external drive for more space, it almost makes more sense to just buy the physical game. While we don’t yet know if every game on the PS4 will be this massive, it’s something those planning to go full digital will have to keep in mind when making purchasing decisions.

The move to digital versions of games has been a long time coming, but the size of next-gen titles on the PlayStation 4 might be counter-intuitive for those looking to save of hard drive space.

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Sophitia (Soul Calibur 3) Awesome Cosplay
30 sep 2013 12:36

Heralding in the start of the highly sought-after weekend is Sophitia, the warrior on a holy mission to destroy the Soul Edge from the Soul Calibur series. Sophitia was originally a baker, helping out at her family’s bakery until she was approached by the god Hephaestus. He tasked her with seeking out the unholy sword, Soul Edge, and destroying it to spare the world of its evil. She received the mighty Omega Sword, took up a shield and headed off on her holy mission. She was said to have been killed in Soul Calibur 5, but she’ll make her return in SoulCalibur: Lost Swords. This is AlisaKiss, as cosplayer from the US, as the lovely Sophitia. She has impressively crafted every bit of the outfit herself and has even taken to wearing it in the fresh snow, which adds a little something extra to the shoot. The fact that she created her own Omega Sword and Owl Shield is also very impressive, making this one awesomely accurate cosplay. See more of her badass outfits on deviantART. If you’re a fan of classic action movies, you’ll definitely enjoy seeing her Red Sonja costume!

Heralding in the start of the highly sought-after weekend is Sophitia, the warrior on a holy mission to destroy the Soul Edge from the Soul Calibur series.

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Batman: Arkham Origins Adding Permadeath Mode
30 sep 2013 12:35

The Batman: Arkham games have always featured a more challenging New Game+ mode, but Arkham Origins is ramping things up even more with “I am the Night” mode. Speaking with Eurogamer, Batman: Arkham Origins producer Guillaume Voghel discussed new details about the upcoming sequel. We already knew Origins would feature some DLC that would put you in the shoes of an even younger Bruce Wayne as he studied martial arts abroad, but we didn’t know much else beyond those few facts. “You play as Bruce Wayne learning to be a ninja,” Voghel said. “That’s a really cool one. Narratively there’s some added content that will give players a little more background story.” “[But] it’s not League of Assassins, it’s ninja-related,” Voghel added. “It’s when he learned to be a ninja and learned those techniques. He goes to a monastery – custom content was created for the DLC. You’ll be in Asia in the monastery. The team did a great job on that, it looks really good.” Of course, that’s not the only cool news about Origins Voghel revealed. In addition to the now standard New Game+, Origins’ “I am the Night” mode ramps up the difficulty even further. After completing New Game+, the new mode opens, and you’ll only have one life to live as Batman. You will be able to save your progress, but the minute you fail or die, the game ends. It’ll probably be the most accurate way to play as Batman, but it sounds like it will clearly be the most difficult way to complete Origins’ 12-hour story.

The Batman: Arkham games have always featured a more challenging New Game+ mode, but Arkham Origins is ramping things up even more with “I am the Night” mode.

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Jinx Joins the Champions of League of Legends
30 sep 2013 12:34

Riot Games has announced that a new character will be joining the ranks of League of Legends‘ Champions. Let’s take a look at Jinx, the Loose Cannon. According to the official League of Legends site, Jinx will be making her debut in the foreseeable future and bring a lot of chaos to the game. She’s described as “packing major attitude and equipped with a cornucopia of carnage,” making her one deadly addition to this happy little family of Champions. Here are this sharpshooter’s abilities: Passive: Get Excited! – Gives Jinx a movement speed buff whenever a Champion or tower that she’s recently attacked is killed or destroyed. The buff decays over time. Q: Switcheroo! – Jinx switches her weapons from the Fishbones rocket launcher to the Pow-Pow minigun. The rocket launcher makes it so her basic attacks consume mana, but gives them extra range and damage. The minigun grants speed to her basic attacks and stacks up to three times. W: Zap! – Jinx fires off an electrical blast that deals damage to an enemy and slows them down. Perfect for running away from pursuers. E: Flame Chompers! – Jinx pops a line of snare grenades with delayed detonation. These light enemies on fire and root anyone who detonates them early. R: Super Mega Death Rocket! – According to the site, this ultimate attack travels around and “explodes on the first enemy champion hit, dealing damage to the target and all nearby enemies based on a percentage of their missing health.” Sounds tasty.

Riot Games has announced that a new character will be joining the ranks of League of Legends‘ Champions. Let’s take a look at Jinx, the Loose Cannon.

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Valve Announces Steam Controller for Steam Machines
30 sep 2013 12:32

Following the announcement of SteamOS and Steam Machines, Valve revealed its first proprietary controller, the Steam Controller. It sure is something. “We realized early on that our goals required a new kind of input technology — one that could bridge the gap from the desk to the living room without compromises,” Valve said. “So we spent a year experimenting with new approaches to input and we now believe we’ve arrived at something worth sharing and testing with you.” That end result (depicted above) is the Steam Controller. Not content to rely on analog sticks and the now standard button array, Valve’s attempt at redefining what a controller can and should be has thrown the old books out the window in favor of some fairly outrageous design decisions. Rather than analog sticks, the Steam Controller features trackpads with haptic feedback. Supposedly more precise than standard console controls, the trackpads offer fidelity Valve promises relates very well to the keyboard/mouse experience. There will also be a small touchscreen in the middle of the controller, which will serve as an area to map multiple functions without the need for more physical buttons. “When programmed by game developers using our API, the touch screen can work as a scrolling menu, a radial dial, provide secondary info like a map or use other custom input modes we haven’t thought of yet,” Valve described. Since the Steam Controller is designed to work with every single game in the Steam catalog, the device needed loads of flexibility the touchscreen should certainly provide. You’ll be able to obtain one in the same fashion as the Steam Machine itself, though it’s not clear if this beta will be offered to people who don’t happen to get a Steam Machine. The beta version of the controller will also be slightly different, and won’t offer touchscreen or wireless functionality. It’s certainly an interesting peripheral, but until we actually get one in our hands, we’re not going to get too hyped up about its prospects.

Following the announcement of SteamOS and Steam Machines, Valve revealed its first proprietary controller, the Steam Controller. It sure is something.

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10 Best Racing Games
30 sep 2013 12:19

Gentlemen, start your engines! It’s time for the 10 Best Racing Games list. This list was actually pretty hard to make. There are going to be fans that are angry at us for not including titles like Gran Turismo, F1- Grand Prix, and Super Off Road, but we had to look at the bigger picture. Racing isn’t just simulation racing or sports racing. It’s any sort of game where your goal is to get to the finish line before your opponent. Thus we had to consider kart racers, gravity racers, and all those weird racing offshoots that cared more about car crashes than clean finishes. Drift into our list of the 10 Best Racing Games of all time.

Gentlemen, start your engines! It’s time for the 10 Best Racing Games list. This list was actually pretty hard to make.

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10 Best Grand Theft Auto 5 Snapmatic Pics
30 sep 2013 12:11

Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto 5 has been sucking up all our free time as of late, but it’s not just the sequel’s story that has us living in Los Santos every waking moment. There’s a myriad of extra-curricular activities to enjoy, one of which happens to be taking pictures with GTA 5′s Instagram clone, Snapmatic. We’ve scoured the Rockstar Social Club to find find the Best Grand Theft Auto 5 Snapmatic pics, and we were impressed with what we saw.

Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto 5 has been sucking up all our free time as of late, but it’s not just the sequel’s story that has us living in Los Santos every waking moment.

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Couple's Awesome Engagement Photos Are a Cinematic Delight
30 sep 2013 12:03

We’re not sure what decade you’re living in, but unless you’re using Photoshop to radically alter your engagement photos, you’re never going to get internet famous from a bunch of pictures. NEVER! One Redditor has learned from his predecessors (dinosaur wedding party, zombie engagement couple) that you don’t have to embarrass yourself in a Home Depot for a hearty splash of attention from the blogosphere — you just need to spend some time in Photoshop making something with lots of nerd appeal. It’s like the indoor kid version of a flash mob! Anywho, here are some pictures he made of himself and his soon-to-be wife in classic movie scenes.

We’re not sure what decade you’re living in, but unless you’re using Photoshop to radically alter your engagement photos, you’re never going to get internet famous from a bunch of pictures.

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10 Cartoons That Should Be Terrible But Are Actually Great
30 sep 2013 12:01

Did you ever hear someone describing a show they’re telling you is great and think, “That sounds like the dumbest thing ever”? Or maybe you were watching one of your favorite cartoons and suddenly realized that the premise is totally ridiculous. Plenty of cartoons start with ideas that are dumb, implausible, weird, or just not great ideas for a TV show at first glance. Some are predictably garbage, but others are actually really top notch shows. Here are 10 of the best cartoons born of ideas that sound like the worst.

Did you ever hear someone describing a show they’re telling you is great and think, “That sounds like the dumbest thing ever”?

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Cold-Hearted Woman Steals Baseball From Little Girl
30 sep 2013 11:54

It turns out the Houston Astros’ fans stink almost as much as the team does. This video from a 2012 Astros game that’s only now making the Internet rounds captures a woman straight up ripping a ball from a little girl’s hands and then basking in the glory of her accomplishment while the girl walks away dejected. It’s awful. There is a bright side here: the video can distract people from talking about how the 2013 Astros are putting the finishing touches on a 100-loss, last-place season. So, in addition to upgrading their players, maybe the Astros ought to consider upgrading their fans, too.

It turns out the Houston Astros’ fans stink almost as much as the team does. This video from a 2012 Astros game that’s only now making the Internet rounds captures a woman straight up ripping a...

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Two Mailmen Duking It Out in Hilarious Prank
30 sep 2013 11:44

This video just may explain why the US Postal Service doesn’t have the greatest reputation. This prank video captures a fake postal worker very publicly discarding mail he deems irrelevant and ultimately getting into a fight with his boss in front of a crowd. Let’s hope this isn’t what’s going on with the post office these days, because it’d be a first-class mess.

This video just may explain why the US Postal Service doesn’t have the greatest reputation. This prank video captures a fake postal worker very publicly discarding mail he deems irrelevant and...

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Woman Quits Job in Best Possible Way With 4AM Dance Video
30 sep 2013 11:42

Tired of a boss who puts quantity over quality, this woman decided to finally express herself…by quitting via dance video. Marina Shifrin was until very recently an employee at Next Media Animation — you know, that company that makes all those insane animated news videos. It seems she got tired of cranking them out, and decided it was time to say farewell at four in the morning — not an unusual time for her to be in the office. So anyway, here is her incredibly unprofessional, but entertaining, less-than-two weeks’ notice, set to Kanye’s ‘Gone.’

Tired of a boss who puts quantity over quality, this woman decided to finally express herself…by quitting via dance video.

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Senior Citizen Will Salsa Dance Into Your Heart
30 sep 2013 11:42

In this video, a senior citizen cuts a rug with some blistering salsa moves that are sure to be the talk of her retirement community. Is this the cutest dance you’ve ever seen? Quick – someone sign her up for ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ pronto.

In this video, a senior citizen cuts a rug with some blistering salsa moves that are sure to be the talk of her retirement community.

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Marching Band Fail Creates Massive Tuba Pile Up
30 sep 2013 11:41

The problem with having your sousaphone players march backwards is that if one goes down, they all go down. A fact clearly evidenced by this video of seven marching band players piling one on top of the other during a halftime show. On the one hand, it kind of gives you an idea of the level of commitment marching band members have, which is worthy of respect. On the other hand…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA so many tuba players in a giant tuba stack!!!! Hilarious.

The problem with having your sousaphone players march backwards is that if one goes down, they all go down.

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10 Terrible Halloween Costumes You Should Definitely NOT Wear This Yea
30 sep 2013 11:40

October is just around the corner, which means we’ve been thinking about what we’re going to be for Halloween for the past three months! If you weren’t graced with such an abundance of foresight, don’t fear — we’re here to guide you. We may not steer you in the direction of what to be for Halloween, but we can definitely tell you that you do NOT want to wear any of these costumes, starting with ol’ Miley Cyrus up there. Yes it’s scary, but it’s not good-scary. Here are some other Halloween disasters to avoid.

October is just around the corner, which means we’ve been thinking about what we’re going to be for Halloween for the past three months!

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Meet Your Newest MMA Promoter: Floyd Mayweather Jr.
30 sep 2013 01:19

Back in July, Floyd Mayweather Jr. said he’d never heard of former UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva. In August, Silva said that he didn’t respect Mayweather, calling him “Papa Smurf.” So, in a development that totally makes sense and doesn’t seem passive-aggressive at all, MMA expert Floyd Mayweather Jr. is now looking to promote MMA fighters. Yyyep. From an interview with Fight Hype: I want to promote MMA fighters also. We lookin to promote MMA fighters, so it’s the first time you’re hearing it on FightHype. You know, Al Haymon is looking to manage MMA fighters. Even though Al Haymon hasn’t came on record and said it, but I want Al to manage MMA fighters. I think I can take it to the next level. You know, I don’t mind doing business with Dana White. Dana White’s a cool guy. I’ve been knowing Dana before he got involved with the MMA. (via FightHype) Frankly, I’ve love to see Mayweather himself show up in MMA and destroy everybody without changing his fighting strategy like Balrog from ‘Street Fighter II,’ boxing gloves and everything. That’d be pretty amazing. Guy tries to shoot a double leg takedown and Money just super-speed dodges to the left and KOs him. He’s already improving the lives of MMA fighters, after all.

Back in July, Floyd Mayweather Jr. said he’d never heard of former UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva. In August, Silva said that he didn’t respect Mayweather, calling him “Papa Smurf.

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4 Of The Ultimate Fighter's Greatest Knockouts
30 sep 2013 01:18

For the past two weeks, I’ve been enjoying this crash course of every season of The Ultimate Fighter (Wednesdays at 10 PM ET on Fox Sports 1), as I’ve broken them down into rankings, recaps and dream fights, but I figured for today’s in-depth look into our favorite reality fighting series, I’d focus on the fun stuff. Mainly, I’m talking about some of the show’s greatest knockouts, as the title of this post so clearly implies, and there have been plenty of big and sometimes brutal moments throughout this series. TUF has clearly had plenty of knockouts in so many seasons, and some of these moments are more obvious than others, and some may have even been long forgotten as each new season has come and gone. But that’s why the Internet is so fantastic, as we can go back and re-watch many of them and wonder how some of these fighters even bothered to get back up and fight again.

For the past two weeks, I’ve been enjoying this crash course of every season of The Ultimate Fighter (Wednesdays at 10 PM ET on Fox Sports 1), as I’ve broken them down into rankings, ...

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A Pregnant Woman Posted A CrossFit Photo On Facebook, Insults Ensued
30 sep 2013 01:16

If I had anything to be proud of other than my Bobby Cobb penny can autographed by the entire cast of Cougar Town, I guess I might be tempted to brag about it in a public forum, but since the majority of people on the Internet are sadistic, sad monsters, I’ve grown kind of fond of keeping things to myself. But 35-year old bodybuilder Lea-Ann Ellison has plenty to be proud of when it comes to her personal fitness routine, and she decided to share some recent photos of her workouts on the CrossFit Facebook page. Oh, and she’s pregnant and two weeks away from her due date, according to Metro. I think that’s important to mention since you can only imagine how horribly people reacted when they saw a photo of a pregnant woman doing squats with heavy weights.

If I had anything to be proud of other than my Bobby Cobb penny can autographed by the entire cast of Cougar Town, I guess I might be tempted to brag about it in a public forum, ...

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M.I.A. And The NFL Still Locked In Bitter Lawsuit Over Middle Finger
30 sep 2013 01:12

While most people will forever remember Super Bowl XLVI as that time that the New England Patriots still couldn’t beat the New York Giants, a few people out there still might talk about it as that time that rapper M.I.A. flipped off the camera and mouthed “I don’t give a sh*t.” Actually, those people do exist and they’re lawyers, because the NFL and M.I.A. are still locked in a bitter battle over that stupid, forgettable moment. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the NFL is still suing M.I.A. (real name Mathangi Arulpragasam) for $1.5 million and a public apology because nobody defiles a wholesome family-oriented NFL broadcast. NOBODY. Except for the players, coaches and owners, according to M.I.A.’s attorney, Howard King. “She is going to go public with an explanation of how ridiculous it was for the NFL and its fans to devote such furor to this incident, while ignoring the genocide occurring in her home country and several other countries, topics she frequently speaks to,” King says. “Of course, the NFL’s claimed reputation for wholesomeness is hilarious,” King tells THR, “in light of the weekly felonies committed by its stars, the bounties placed by coaches on opposing players, the homophobic and racist comments uttered by its players, the complete disregard for the health of players and the premature deaths that have resulted from same, and the raping of public entities ready to sacrifice public funds to attract teams.”

While most people will forever remember Super Bowl XLVI as that time that the New England Patriots still couldn’t beat the New York Giants, ...

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Jon Bones Jones' Threw Out The First Pitch Before A Blue Jays Game
30 sep 2013 01:11

Jon Bones Jones is set to defend the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship against Alexander Gustafsson at Saturday’s aptly-named UFC 165: Jones vs. Gustafsson in Toronto. To prepare, he’s visiting Canadian sporting events and beating up whoever he finds there. At Rogers Centre it was Toronto Blue Jays mascot Ace, and also maybe Alex Rodriguez. Jones threw out the first pitch at at Thursday night’s Blue Jays vs. Yankees game, and while it lacks the wacky fail of Carly Rae Jepsen’s effort, the passion of that one 2-year old who refused to throw from the grass or the weird accuracy of Holly Sonders chipping it in with a golf club, it’s worth watching and possibly scoffing at. Plus, it’s another in a line of great examples of how “being a good athlete” doesn’t translate to “being able to throw a ball.” It’s not super horrible, though. Check it out:

Jon Bones Jones is set to defend the UFC Light Heavyweight Championship against Alexander Gustafsson at Saturday’s aptly-named UFC 165: Jones vs. Gustafsson in Toronto.

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Shaq, Sacramento Kings Hater, Now Owns Part Of The Sacramento Kings
30 sep 2013 00:51

As the Kings continue their image makeover that was sparked by the late May sale of the team to Vivek Ranadive, they have made a big and bold move by adding O’Neal as a minority owner. The TNT analyst once gleaned pleasure in deriding the Kings, whom he owned in a very different way when his Lakers thrice knocked their rival out of the playoffs en route to titles in 2000, 2001 and 2002. Now his joy will come from seeing one of the league’s worst-performing franchises turn things around. His involvement will begin in earnest today, as O’Neal — who jokingly referred to himself as “Dr. O’Neal” throughout a phone interview with USA TODAY Sports — plans to meet with Kings players and coaches in Sacramento before having dinner with franchise centerpiece and new protégé DeMarcus Cousins. (via USA Today)

As the Kings continue their image makeover that was sparked by the late May sale of the team to Vivek Ranadive, they have made a big and bold move by adding O’Neal as a minority owner.

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The Atlanta Braves Have A Blurred Lines Parody Video Now (ffffuuuu)
30 sep 2013 00:43

Remember two weeks ago when the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders and T.D. the inaccurately-anthropomorphic mascot got together for a video parodying/paying homage to Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines,’ and the gag was that it was several months too late to be relevant? Well, the Atlanta Braves saw that video and spent the last two weeks recording ‘Baselines,’ a parody of the parody video that replaces football bikinis with lady-sized baseball jerseys and the dolphin man with a baseball-headed dude who actually looks a lot like Robin Thicke. Oh, and Javy Lopez is there. Sample lyric: He’s got the fastest pitch in this place! Is there an abbreviation for “shaking my damn baseball head?

Remember two weeks ago when the Miami Dolphins cheerleaders and T.D. the inaccurately-anthropomorphic mascot got together for a video parodying/paying homage to Robin Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines, ...

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A Stick To The Face Turned Edmonton Oiler Sam Gagner Into A Monster
30 sep 2013 00:43

If you don’t know how to work a YouTube video, I’ll recap it for you: Vancouver Canucks winger Zack Kassian tried to hit Edmonton Oilers center Sam Gagner but missed him by like two feet. He still wanted to hit him, though, so he spun around with his stick in the air and basically backfisted Gagner in the jaw with it. Gagner was taken away with a broken jaw, and Kassian, at least in my head, had the rest of the Oilers descend upon him with extreme prejudice. But hey, getting hit in the face with a stick is part of the game. Gagner decided that selfies were in order, and uploaded a picture of the kind of grotesquely swollen jaw you can only get from stick backfists or addiction to nerve tonic. I can’t say with confidence that his teeth didn’t look like that BEFORE he got hit, but it certainly doesn’t look right.

If you don’t know how to work a YouTube video, I’ll recap it for you: Vancouver Canucks winger Zack Kassian tried to hit Edmonton Oilers center Sam Gagner but missed him by like two feet.

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Nate Diaz Tweeted At The UFC That He Won't Be Fighting Gray Maynard
30 sep 2013 00:35

Nate Diaz is one of the fighters involved in the five currently scheduled fights taking place at The Ultimate Fighter 18 Finale on Saturday, November 30 in Las Vegas. Or at least he was. Diaz is supposed to be facing Gray Maynard in a rematch of their main event fight from UFC Fight Night back in 2010, but if Nick’s younger brother’s Twitter account is to be taken seriously, he’s backing out of this fight to attend his 10-year high school reunion.

Nate Diaz is one of the fighters involved in the five currently scheduled fights taking place at The Ultimate Fighter 18 Finale on Saturday, November 30 in Las Vegas. Or at least he was.

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Stone Cold Steve Austin Thinks The UFC Should Hire Jim Ross
30 sep 2013 00:35

Ariel Helwani had a bevy of big name guests on The MMA Hour Monday, as Uriah Faber, Chael Sonnen, Dan Hardy, Chris Weidman, Georges St-Pierre, Anderson Silva and Conor McGregor stopped by to fill us all in on what they’re up to and much more importantly what they thought of the main event at UFC 165. But the big guest for the show was WWE legend “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, who broke into the podcast business earlier in the year and is quite the casual MMA and UFC fan. For starters, Austin said that while he’s certainly no MMA scoring expert, he had Alexander Gustafsson winning Saturday night’s fight 3-2, but he agreed with pretty much all of us that a unanimous decision was laughable. Regardless, he thinks that Gustafsson became a superstar in his loss to Jon Jones, and he also agrees with a lot of us that some fighters are really lacking in the personality department. But the biggest tidbit to take away from Austin’s interview involved the recently retired and equally legendary Jim Ross, as Helwani asked him if he thinks Ol’ J.R. would be a great addition to the UFC. “I do, just because the guy has 30 or 40 years of experience with storylines, angles, knowledge, booking and how things worked in our world. Yes, I think he can help in some capacity, some way and somehow. But I have to turn that question on you – do you think he can help?” Stone Cold has already mastered his role as a podcast host, always knowing how to get the best of a conversation by flipping the question on someone. Anyway, the snap judgment fan answer to this question is YES. YES PLEASE. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES. That’s because J.R. is just an awesome commentator and not having him on a broadcast is a crime. However, Helwani’s response to Austin was the much more logical answer, in that actually having him on air calling fights would probably be a big mistake because of how closely associated he is with professional wrestling. After all, when so many people are screaming fake and accusing the UFC of rigging fights, you don’t want to encourage them by hiring a WWE guy to sit in the booth with Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg. Even though it would be so awesome to hear him shout, “OH MAH GAWD, THAT’S JON JONES’ MUSIC!” And in case you’re wondering if Austin is itching to get back in the ring for the WWE anytime soon, you can stop. “I know a lot of fans want to see that. But what if it’s not what it could have been or should have been? I don’t want to go out there and do 90% of ‘Stone Cold,’ that’s not who and what I am… I was there, I did it at a high level, I had a great time. I took the business to a height that it’s never been before. Hopefully someday someone will come on now that I’m done and take it to an even higher level. John Cena has done a wonderful job doing what he’s done. Man, I’d say the chances are pretty damn slim, to be frank about it.” If anything, I think it’s Austin who should have a role with the UFC, teaching young fighters how to record a promo.

Ariel Helwani had a bevy of big name guests on The MMA Hour Monday, as Uriah Faber, Chael Sonnen, Dan Hardy, Chris Weidman, Georges St-Pierre, ...

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Martina Hingis Attacked Her Husband With A DVD Player, Evil Russians
30 sep 2013 00:34

In the mid-90s, Martina Hingis was my dream girl. She was great at tennis, becoming the youngest Grand Slam champion of all time at age 15. She was my age, too, and her tennis outfits always either did one fantastic thing or another. She’s as responsible for my march through puberty and love of fringe sports as anyone in the world. That said, some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. Hingis, now 32, is making difficult-to-translate news by teaming up with her mother to attack her husband and bash him over the head with a DVD player. Oh, cool. The translation effort, courtesy of our friends at Guyism: “On Monday evening, I was in our shared apartment when the doorbell rang. In the course of a dispute to Martina and her mother Melanie Molitor pounced on me, beat me and scratched. My upbringing forbids me to beat women. I resisted every effort, as suggested to me Mario Widmer, the partner of Melanie, the DVD player to the head. ” But that’s not enough. When [husband Thibault] Hutin neck plunges over head out of the house, he finds that his passport and his credit cards are gone. Straightway he went to the police in Pfäffikon. “The policemen went with me back to the apartment and forced the three to surrender my valuables.” (via Guyism) Wait, she stole his shit, too? Am I reading that correctly? Also, is “Pfäffikon” a place, or were they at a Dutch police convention? According to reports, Martina had been a pretty crummy wife before this incident, cheating on her husband multiple times. All I can say is that I’m glad the guy had a DVD player and wasn’t trying to watch blu-rays on one of those old, backwards-compatible PS3s, because Jesus, that would’ve crushed his skull.

In the mid-90s, Martina Hingis was my dream girl. She was great at tennis, becoming the youngest Grand Slam champion of all time at age 15.

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Jon Jones Will Apparently Fight Glover Teixeira Next
30 sep 2013 00:32

Like most of us, even UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones thought his title match with Alexander Gustaffson at UFC 165 last Saturday was so close that the only logical thing to do is plan an immediate rematch and give us another fight for the ages. But as he has been recovering from the incredible beating that Gustaffson gave him in a losing effort, Jones has had a chance to watch the fight a few more times and score it for himself. His result? Definitely 3-2, maybe even 4-1 in his favor. According to Ariel Helwani, that is apparently enough for Jones to overlook Gustafsson for a rematch and take on the next contender instead, and that would be Glover Teixeira, winner of five straight since making his UFC debut and 20 in a row since his last loss in 2005. “Bones” told FOX Sports 1′s “UFC Tonight” on Wednesday that he initially thought the most fair thing to do was grant Gustafsson an immediate rematch because the fight was so close, however, after watching the fight over ten times since Saturday night, he now believes that he decisively won rounds two, four and five. As a result, the champion now thinks “the most fair thing to do is grant the next deserving contender” a shot at the title, he said. (Via MMA Fighting) And UFC President Dana White confirmed yesterday that the fight is probably going to happen. “That’s what the champ wants,” White said. “We’ll probably have that fight on the Super Bowl card in New Jersey.” I have enough respect for Jones – which is tons and tons of respect, mind you – that I wouldn’t ever think that he was dodging Gustafsson or making excuses for why he almost lost to him (and did lose to him in a lot of people’s eyes). I also appreciate that he might want to give another contender a shot, especially if it’s Teixeira, who has been so much fun to watch fight and would probably be an even tougher challenge for Jones. But this has “dick move” written all over it. Teixeira could defeat Jones, which would warrant an immediate rematch and even end up leading to a third fight if the first two are good enough, and that would leave Gustafsson, the No. 1 contender, waiting almost two years for another title shot. Obviously, that’s the worst case scenario for the Swede, but the best case would still be at least another year.

Like most of us, even UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones thought his title match with Alexander Gustaffson at UFC 165 last Saturday was so close that the only logical thing to do is plan an...

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Dana White To Ken Shamrock: 'I'm Coming For The Money'
30 sep 2013 00:27

Earlier this week, former UFC champion and current Bellator fighter Tito Ortiz Tweeted to Ken Shamrock, Frank Shamrock, Randy Couture and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson that they should all crash the upcoming UFC 20th anniversary show, or UFC 167, taking place at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas on November 16. Frank and Randy both responded that they should do it, although I’m thinking the latter was far less serious than the former or even Ortiz, since he’s just trying to drum up some publicity for his fight at the debut Bellator PPV on Nov. 2. Since that Tweet, UFC President Dana White, who does not care for any of these men whatsoever, has addressed both the idea of the “super friends” invading UFC 167 and why it’s so funny that Ken Shamrock suddenly wants to have a confrontation with White and the UFC. Warning: These videos are not safe for little ears.

Earlier this week, former UFC champion and current Bellator fighter Tito Ortiz Tweeted to Ken Shamrock, Frank Shamrock, ...

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Robinson Cano Is Seeking A 10-Year Deal Worth At Least $305 Million
30 sep 2013 00:26

With the New York Yankees now eliminated from playoff contention for just the second time in the last 18 or so years, the sports media can finally focus on what really matters – how much money they’ll spend in the offseason. And if there’s time, we can possibly discuss the other losers that are still competing for a World Series title. But for now, the most important story in baseball is Robinson Cano and how much money he thinks he’s worth as a free agent. That number? $305 million over 10 years. Now, some people may argue that this is hilariously impossible, as most teams are looking to follow the new blueprint of spending less to develop farm talent, as opposed to handing out horrible contracts like the decade deal that was just given to Albert Pujols. But Cano is a lifetime .309 hitter who has never hit more than 33 home runs and has only 3 seasons with 100+ RBI, so I’m sure that a team is willing to give him $30 million per year. Wait, no. He’s sure. Because the only thing I’m sure about is that he’s insane.

With the New York Yankees now eliminated from playoff contention for just the second time in the last 18 or so years, ...

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Texas A&M Punter Drew Kaser Is Gonna 'Drop Bombs' This Weekend
30 sep 2013 00:25

Texas A&M football punter Drew Kaser’s Twitter bio currently features the hashtags #1shot1kill and #shakeandbake, so if somebody came up to you and said “what do you think Texas A&M punter Drew Kaser is doing this weekend,” you could probably piece it together. It would involve red Solo cups, hunting rifles and not updating your favorite movie quotes in 10 years. Regardless, a local newspaper asked Drew what his plans were for the Aggies’ first away game weekend, and his response was suitably #shakeandbake: he plans to drop bombs.

Texas A&M football punter Drew Kaser’s Twitter bio currently features the hashtags #1shot1kill and #shakeandbake, ...

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Mariano Rivera's Final Exit Brought Out All The Goose Bumps
30 sep 2013 00:16

The New York Yankees may not have made the playoffs, but they did wind up with one of the biggest stories of the year in the farewell tour of their longtime closer and one of Major League Baseball’s true gentleman superstars, Mariano Rivera. It all came to a head last night with the Tampa Bay Rays, still in the thick of the American League’s Wild Card race, defeating the Yankees, but nobody cares about the score, because it was Rivera’s last pitching appearance in Yankee Stadium. Presumably ever, unless Joe Girardi pulls off the miracle of all miracles and figures out a way to help Mo return all of the gifts he received from other teams. All obvious hero worship aside, I’m really waiting for a national columnist to step forward with the “Mariano Rivera wasn’t as good as everyone is pretending” troll piece

The New York Yankees may not have made the playoffs, but they did wind up with one of the biggest stories of the year in the farewell tour of their longtime closer and one of Major League...

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Floyd Mayweather Jr. Won A Lot Of Money Gambling Today
30 sep 2013 00:12

When all is said and done on December 31 and 2013 comes to a close, boxing champion, phenom and legend Floyd Mayweather Jr. will have made more than $100 million on his fights alone. Oh, and that’s for two fights. Mayweather made $45 million per fight for his May 4 victory over Robert Guerrero and his fight against Canelo Alvarez earlier this month, also a win. And word on the streets is that Mayweather hasn’t even received his back end cash for that second fight, so he could be looking at a cool 9 figures for two nights of work. Then there’s also his gambling winnings, as the man with more money than most small countries has a penchant for sports wagers, and he also loves to brag about his winnings to us lowly poor bastards. Take today, for example, as Mayweather Tweeted a picture of his early winnings as he waits to see how much additional money he’ll make off of Johnny Manziel.

When all is said and done on December 31 and 2013 comes to a close, boxing champion, phenom and legend Floyd Mayweather Jr. will have made more than $100 million on his fights alone.

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