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11 Hilariously Creative Homework Responses
16 sep 2013 12:18

Back-to-school season is well underway, which also means homework is once again a reality. Ugh, major bummer. But when you’re a youngster, homework isn’t all that bad! That’s because kids make it way less boring by being straight up and honest (read: hilarious). For example, when a teacher asks a kid to write what he or she wants to do in the future and the student puts “get a girlfriend,” hey– they’re just being truthful. Check out even more funny homework responses below.

Back-to-school season is well underway, which also means homework is once again a reality. Ugh, major bummer.

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Servers Surprised With $200 Tips Will Make Your Day
16 sep 2013 12:18

A good tip can really make a server’s day. Just watch this uplifting video for proof. In the video, two men hit up a few diners in Orem, Utah to surprise their waiters and waitresses with $200 tips. The reactions are heartwarming and, for one brief moment, may make the help think serving up Western omelettes to inebriated folks at two in the morning is all worth it.

A good tip can really make a server’s day. Just watch this uplifting video for proof. In the video, two men hit up a few diners in Orem, ...

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Aaron Paul Is Doing A Twitter Scavenger Hunt All Over Boise
16 sep 2013 12:05

Aaron Paul is in Boise today. There is almost certainly a legitimate, reasonable, easily uncovered explanation for this, but we are not going to get into it right now because all it will do is distract us from the more important issues at play. Namely, that Aaron Paul ran around downtown Boise today throwing tickets to a Breaking Bad screening out windows and getting people to yell “BITCH” at the top of their lungs, as though he somehow became a cross between Ferris Bueller and Willy Wonka. But I should back up. Yesterday, Aaron Paul tweeted this:

Aaron Paul is in Boise today. There is almost certainly a legitimate, reasonable, easily uncovered explanation for this, ...

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Louis CK Won An Emmy For His Stand-Up
16 sep 2013 12:03

Everyone’s favorite comedian Louis CK just won a Creative Arts Emmy (Emmy for short) for “Outstanding Writing In A Variety Special” for his HBO special “Oh My God.” The ginger-haired funnyman wasn’t at the award show itself, however. Probably because he’s kind of a badass like that and just didn’t want to show. Or it could be something like shingles. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. THR made a note of CK’s absence. “Oh My God” was, as you may remember, pretty brilliant. Here’s his now-infamous closing bit, “Of Course But Maybe.”

Everyone’s favorite comedian Louis CK just won a Creative Arts Emmy (Emmy for short) for “Outstanding Writing In A Variety Special” for his HBO special “Oh My God.

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Congrats, Blobfish! You've Been Named the World's Ugliest Animal
16 sep 2013 12:16

Proving that your looks can get you far in an industry other than acting or modeling and that dogs aren’t the only creatures recognized for their outlandish features, the blobfish has won the non-distinct honor of being voted the world’s ugliest animal by the Ugly Animal Preservation Society. Look at it — it looks like Mr. Magoo and Popeye fused their heads together before melting it under a heat lamp. In a public vote, the blobfish beat out a field that included animals whose hideous looks are exceeded only by their revolting names, including the kakapo, the axolotl, the Titicaca ‘scrotum’ water frog and the proboscis monkey. The blobfish, which subsists on crabs and lobsters, can be found off the southeastern coast of Australia and Tasmania. It tends to be found 2,000-4,000 feet below the water, so you don’t have to worry too much about getting surprised by one the next time you take your yacht out down that way. For winning, the blobfish will now become the mascot for the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, although by the looks of it a better prize probably would be a segment on any one of those scores of TV makeover shows.

Proving that your looks can get you far in an industry other than acting or modeling and that dogs aren’t the only creatures recognized for their outlandish features, ...

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Meanest Obituary Ever Will Make You Shudder
16 sep 2013 12:20

Usually, an obituary is a place to pay homage to the recently departed. But not always. A rather unflattering obit recently ran in the Reno Gazette-Journal that did not exactly paint the woman at the center of it in the best light: "Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.” The obit was so vicious it was removed from the paper’s website, although you can still find it and read on in shock. Do you think the paper was right to remove the obit? Or should they honor the wishes of the departed’s children, even if their tribute to their late mother is a bit harsh?

Usually, an obituary is a place to pay homage to the recently departed. But not always. A rather unflattering obit recently ran in the Reno Gazette- ...

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Nicolas Cage as Miley Cyrus in the'Wrecking Ball'
16 sep 2013 12:12

Nicolas Cage‘s descent from Oscar winner to internet star is complete. Cage, who is no stranger to having his mug cover other people’s faces, resurfaces in this video where someone thoughtfully inserts his head over Miley Cyrus‘ in her controversial ‘Wrecking Ball’ clip. Watch, if you dare, and then good luck falling asleep tonight with the image of a naked Nicolas Cage swimming around your head. You’ve been warned.

Nicolas Cage‘s descent from Oscar winner to internet star is complete. Cage, who is no stranger to having his mug cover other people’s faces, ...

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'Sleepy Hollow' Brings Head-Chopping To Fox
16 sep 2013 11:59

Sleepy Hollow has a pretty basic conceit; Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman wake up in 2013 and rumble. But as goofy as the idea is, the show might actually be pretty good, or at least willing to embrace its fundamental silliness enough to be a lot of fun. Here’s a pretty lengthy trailer Fox has thrown together to explain the show a little bit. And, honestly, it’s a lot more engagingly goofy than you might anticipate, being as it’s a drama on Fox from the guys who wrote the Star Trek reboot. Also, the Headless Horseman packing a glowing axe and an automatic weapon is kind of a selling point:

Sleepy Hollow has a pretty basic conceit; Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman wake up in 2013 and rumble.

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Ben Affleck Will Direct A Pilot For Fox
16 sep 2013 11:56

Here’s two quick somewhat kind-of, sort-of related comic-book/TV related trade news stories: First up, Ben Affleck — who was recently cast as a Batman described as “tired and weary” in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel sequel — will also be directing his first televison pilot (quick aside: How awesome would it have been if Affleck were Batman, and Jon Hamm were Superman, as had been rumored before Henry Cavill took the role?) The pilot is for a Fox drama (boo! Why not cable, Ben?) It’s called The Middle Man, and it’s a crime drama set in 1960′s Boston, so it’s right up Affleck’s alley. According to the press release: “The Middle Man focuses on the relationship between the FBI agent responsible for taking down the Italian-American mafia and his confidential informant, an Irish-American gangster. Throughout the relationship, ‘the duo’s actions inadvertently give rise to the Irish-American mob in this timeless Boston crime saga.’” So, it’s the precursor to the Whitey Bulger/Stephen Flemmi gang? The Middle Man will be vying for a slot on the Fall 2014 schedule over on Fox. Meanwhile, in news more directly related to comic books, the CW has cast the lead for its planned Flash series. The character will be introduced in The CW’s Arrow during the second season, and if the CW likes it (they will), the network will roll out a Flash series. Who will play the Barry Allen, aka, The Flash? A kid named Grant Gustin, who some may know from Glee. What can we expect?

Here’s two quick somewhat kind-of, sort-of related comic-book/TV related trade news stories: First up, ...

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DC Apologizes For Asking You To Draw Harley Quinn Naked And Suicidal
16 sep 2013 11:54

After DC announced a new Harley Quinn series with writers Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, they held a contest to let a fan draw a page for Harley Quinn #0. Unfortunately, one of the things they asked contestants to draw on spec was a scene depicting a naked Harley Quinn committing suicide: "Harley sitting naked in a bathtub with toasters, blow dryers, blenders, appliances all dangling above the bathtub and she has a cord that will release them all. We are watching the moment before the inevitable death. Her expression is one of “oh well, guess that’s it for me” and she has resigned herself to the moment that is going to happen." [DC's Open Talent Search] That artists were expected to draw sexualized violence of a woman before they could be considered for a job at DC caused just a wee bit of a kerfuffle, especially among people not familiar with the usual cartoon violence of the Harley Quinn character. This came to our attention last week when an epic rant about the contest went viral as f*ck with over 43,000 notes on Tumblr. Oh yeah, and this contest was announced right before National Suicide Prevention Week. The Mary Sue has an excellent recap of the blowout, but we’ll attempt to summarize. Jimmy Palmiotti responded that he should have included a “description of tone and dialogue” with the scene, adding that “it was supposed to be a dream sequence with Amanda and I talking to Harley and giving her a hard time. I should have also mentioned we were thinking a Mad magazine / Looney Tunes approach was what we were looking for.” He also said the fault didn’t lie with DC Comics for the lack of context with the suicide scene. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, American Psychiatric Association, and National Alliance on Mental Illness sent a statement to The Huffington Post stating their disappointment. Now DC Comics has responded to that statement, telling HuffPo: "The purpose of the talent search was to allow new artists an opportunity to draw a single page of a 20-page story. True to the nature of the character, the entire story is cartoony and over-the-top in tone, as Harley Quinn breaks the 4th Wall and satirizes the very scenes she appears in. DC Entertainment sincerely apologizes to anyone who may have found the page synopsis offensive and for not clearly providing the entire context of the scene within the full scope of the story." I’m still surprised that the backlash surprised DC. Did they not know that asking hopeful artists to depict a suicide, particularly the suicide of a naked woman, could piss people off? This should be a reminder that a diversity of backgrounds is something every workplace should have. Case in point, before the New 52 relaunch, 12% of DC’s creators were female. And after the relaunch? Only one percent female creators. Generally speaking, you’re going to have some serious blind spots and find yourself scrambling to make apologies after the fact if your creators are limited to 99% one gender or one race or one socioeconomic or geographic background, etc. And don’t be that guy who comments, “but women don’t read comics DURRRR” because they do and that guy sucks.

After DC announced a new Harley Quinn series with writers Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, they held a contest to let a fan draw a page for Harley Quinn #0.

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AT&T Catches Heat For Tacky 9/11 Ad
16 sep 2013 11:44

Well, you just knew it was coming; some bone-headed corporation would — in an impossibly misguided attempt to promote their brand by invoking 9/11, or something — would cross the line and spark an outrage. And AT&T has laid claim to the prize. Yes, in what will surely go down as one of the more ill-conceived bits of product placement in the history of advertising, AT&T tweeted “Never Forget” along with photo of an AT&T phone held up in place of the Twin Towers from it’s official account this afternoon. Naturally, a few folks are outraged about this…

Well, you just knew it was coming; some bone-headed corporation would — in an impossibly misguided attempt to promote their brand by invoking 9/11, ...

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AMC Is Developing A 'Walking Dead' Spin-Off For 2015
16 sep 2013 11:35

AMC, which cancelled The Killing last week, is losing Breaking Bad at the end of this month, and Mad Men next year, and still hasn’t found a viable replacement for either series (Low Winter Sun, sure as hell isn’t it), looks to be doing for The Walking Dead what the Saul Goodman spin-off is doing for Breaking Bad, which is to say: If you can’t succeed with new properties, just spin off the old. Indeed, AMC announced today that it is in the early stages of developing a spin-off to The Walking Dead, set for 2015. Details are scarce. Here’s what AMC had to say, according to TVLine. “Building on the success of the most popular show on television for adults 18-49 is literally a no-brainer,” said AMC prez Charlie Collier in a statement. “We look forward to working with Robert, Gale and Dave again as we develop an entirely new story and cast of characters. It’s a big world and we can’t wait to give fans another unforgettable view of the zombie apocalypse.” I wouldn’t call it a “no brainer,” since you’ll be diluting the power of the strongest series on the network, but for financial reasons, I see what they mean. Series creator Robert Kirkman added this: “After 10 years of writing the comic book series and being so close to the debut of our fourth, and in my opinion, best season of the TV series, I couldn’t be more thrilled about getting the chance to create a new corner of The Walking Dead universe. The opportunity to make a show that isn’t tethered by the events of the comic book, and is truly a blank page, has set my creativity racing.” We’ll bring you more details when they’re announced.

AMC, which cancelled The Killing last week, is losing Breaking Bad at the end of this month, and Mad Men next year, and still hasn’t found a viable replacement for either series (Low Winter Sun, ...

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Dave Chappelle Told An Amazing Story About Kanye West
15 sep 2013 13:47

Two things that I love unconditionally: 1) Stories about eccentric musicians, as told and/or reenacted by Dave Chappelle; and 2) Stories about Kanye West, as told or reenacted by anyone. In the first category, we have the famous Rick James and Prince sketches from Chappelle’s Show. In the second, we have lots, most notably Aziz Ansari’s story about the time he hung out at Kanye’s house and walked in to find him silently bumping along on the couch to his own album. (Posted below.) But today is a great day because now those two things have been welded together by the gods and presented to us as a gift. At a recent stop in Illinois on the much-discussed Oddball Comedy and Curiosity Festival, Chappelle told this story about the time Kanye performed on Chappelle’s Show just as he was starting to blow up, and it is just perfect. Enjoy.

Two things that I love unconditionally: 1) Stories about eccentric musicians, as told and/or reenacted by Dave Chappelle; and 2) Stories about Kanye West, as told or reenacted by anyone.

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5 Life Lessons We Learned From Jean Ralphio
15 sep 2013 14:24

BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE. Today, Ben Schwartz, the actor who portrays one of TV’s greatest recurring characters, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from Parks and Recreation, turns 32, which is also the number of Snakejuice shots it takes before anyone would think about coming home with Jean-Ralphio. In honor of Schwartz, who also stars on Showtime’s House of Pies and will soon appear in Better Living Through Chemistry with Olivia Wilde AND Sam Rockwell, let’s take a look at some life lessons Jean-Ralphio has shared with us.

BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE. Today, Ben Schwartz, the actor who portrays one of TV’s greatest recurring characters, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from Parks and Recreation, turns 32, ...

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