If Game Of Thrones were set in the modern day, what would the Great (and not so great) Houses of Westeros do for their riches, besides murder and espionage? Every great fortune needs a legitimate veneer, after all. Shutterstock created Game Of Brands, a set of fake ad campaigns and brands for those power-hungry families participating in modern-day capitalism. Things haven’t changed much. House Targaryen is still dominating the sky. The Lannisters continue to pay their debts while also proffering investment advice to help you manage the lion’s share. The Baratheons are your source for security guards, while The Arryns will get that message across Westeros with their many satellites and servers. The Greyjoys are now running maritime expeditions. (Will there be hot dogs served onboard?) The Freys run Frey Celebrations, a division of The Lannister Investment Group. They’ll help you plan that wedding, and what ever could go wrong? And Stark Outfitters can provide the gear you need for any extreme weather conditions. Winter is coming, after all. Some of our favorite examples are collected here (minor spoilers). You can check out the rest of the ad campaigns, and the rationalization behind each, over at Shutterstock. Thanks to The High Definite for the assist.

There’s a lot going on in that headline, and I didn’t even mention the arrest yet, so let’s break it down. 1. Shea Allen is a special investigations reporter for the Huntsville, Alabama-based ABC affiliate WAAY-TV, or at least she was, before she was fired because of something she posted on her personal blog. 2. That something: the Lindsay Lohan-less “Confessions of a Red Headed Reporter,” including, “I’ve gone bra-less during a live broadcast and no one was the wiser,” “I’ve mastered the ability to contort my body into a position that makes me appear much skinner in front of the camera than I actually am,” and my personal favorite, “I’m frightened of old people and I refuse to do stories involving them or the places they reside.” I’ve often said that WAAY-TV has been sorely lacking in segments about the Old Country Buffet. 3. Allen deleted the post once it went viral, but it’s back up. “This post was taken down because I was momentarily misguided about who I am and what I stand for,” she wrote. “To clarify, I make no apologies for the following re-post. It’s funny, satirical, and will likely offend some of the more conservative folks. But it isn’t fake and its a genuine look into my slightly twisted psyche.” Uh-huh. I bet she really likes Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, too. 4. Allen has since tweeted that she was “terminated without cause,” but today came reports, from an ex-co-worker via Gawker, that she was a “ticking time bomb for termination.” Allen was arrested in 2012, suspended for saying “f*ck” on the air, and “allegedly followed that up with another warning for running a news package ‘that contained profanity and racial slurs.’” Man, I liked her, right up to the “racial slurs” part. The moral of the story here: all reporters should be Karl Stefanovic. Know what I mean?

Call us old-fashion but you really can’t beat a few hours playing with LEGO can you? The possibilities are pretty much endless, but in an age where apps have replaced boardgames and Barbie isn’t quite the accurate portrayal of a girl as she once use to be, it can be a confusing time for parents who want to buy toys for their kids. What we do know, is there are certainly more than few gifts floating around that you really wouldn’t want to give your kids. That is unless you want to terrify them for life and ensure their teenage years are riddled with confusion. In which case, head down to your local department store and see if they have any of the following in stock….

Veebot is a start-up in California. They’ve built a robot that can insert IVs and partially automate blood draws. THANKS, WE NEEDED THAT. The patient slides his or her arm into an inflatable cuff, which acts as a tourniquet. An infrared light illuminates the inner elbow for a camera that searches for a suitable vein using software that compares the camera’s view against a model of an arm’s veins. Next, ultrasound confirms that the chosen vein has sufficient blood flow for a successful blood draw. Finally, the robotic arm aligns itself with the chosen vein and inserts the needle. The whole process takes about a minute. [Medgadget] The phlebotomist robot finds the best vein 83% of the time, which is about the same frequency with which human phlebotamists find the best vein. On the other hand, human phlebotamists probably won’t jab the everloving sh-t out of your elbow if they malfunction (we would hope). Richard Harris of Veebot says they want to raise the best-vein accuracy to 90% before starting clinical trials. He says a billion blood draws are performed in the U.S. each year (Half of those were performed on me last time I was in the hospital). He also says 250 million IVs are inserted each year in America. If improved, a machine like this could reduce errors and speed up the process. Or it could go all Judgement Day and END US ALL. Decisions decisions. Here’s a video of this nightmare beast at work, narrated by someone who seems to assume we’re all kindergarteners.

So, were you wondering how, precisely, Booker DeWitt and Elizabeth of BioShock Infinite fit into the timeline of BioShock? Did “a man, a city and a lighthouse” seem a bit thin? Turns out we’ve got an answer: Welcome back to Rapture… right before the fall, in BioShock Infinite: Burial At Sea. Here’s the trailer for the first part of this two-part adventure:

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Hm, let’s see. Less than a week after DJ Khaled creeped the world out with a marriage proposal video to Nicki Minaj, who still hasn’t answered, probably because she was too busy twerking, comes a new song of his called “I Wanna Be with You,” featuring none other than Rick Ross, Future, and…Nicki Minaj. WAIT. Was that proposal a marketing sham? YOU USED ME, KHALED. YOU USED ME.