The Tampa Bay Rays, like the Yankees, Orioles and Blue Jays, have been eliminated from contention in the American League East, because the Boston Red Sox steamrolled their way to the current 8-game lead and the division crown. But the Rays at least have their hopes set on a Wild Card berth and right now things are looking pretty good with a 1.5 game lead over the Texas Rangers, who have lost 7 of their last 10. But that still doesn’t mean Tampa can let up, which was evident in the Rays current three-game winning streak that has all but eliminated the Orioles from Wild Card contention. On Friday night, though, the Rays were locked in an 18-inning duel with the O’s and at some point the crazy train showed up to the station, as Luke Scott and Co. got a little crazy in the dugout.

While Mariano Rivera was busy being serenaded by Metallica and cheered and worshiped by millions of people in New York City on Sunday, Colorado Rockies first baseman Todd Helton was driving in four runs to help ease the sting of his team’s 13-9 loss to the San Diego Padres in a duel of two teams just padding stats. However, one Rockies fan helped ease the additional sting of another season with no playoffs hope by showing Helton a painting of him as a centaur. This makes that adorable kid who drew the picture of Starling Marte look like a real amateur. When I saw these pictures last night, I started wondering, “Why do I make fun of Alex Rodriguez for having two huge paintings of himself as a centaur in his home, but I look at this Helton painting and wish someone would make me a centaur?” Two reasons: 1) Alex Rodriguez commissioned his own paintings, which makes him an arrogant douchebag, while someone made this painting for Helton; 2) A-Rod is a massive arrogant douchebag while Helton is only a pretty big douchebag.

I’ve never watched Gator Boys on Animal Planet, because I’m afraid of alligators and I don’t know for certain or not if they have the ability to crawl through my TV like the little girl from The Ring. But I golf quite often and any time I see a gator, I usually run about 20,000 feet in the other direction. So even though this gator that they recently rescued from a driving range was a little on the small side, seeing it spin in circles with its mouth open wide like it was about to bite the big guy’s hand off? No thanks, man. No thanks.