What happens when you’re the most famous singer on the planet and you get wasted at a music festival? The same thing that happens to the rest of us: You get kicked out. Rihanna learned that the hard way this weekend. Rihanna was escorted, along with two hangers-on, away from the Open’er Festival in Poland to wild applause. Security tried carrying the three ladies out upright, but failed, which could mean a few things: One, they actually didn’t drink much and just have a very low tolerance, especially in heat and sun (doubtful). Two, Rihanna takes her own tracks like ‘Pour It Up’ and ‘Cheers (I’ll Drink to That)’ to heart, even when she doesn’t write much for them. Or three, the most likely scenario: The Wanted need to do more research on their own song subjects.

Courtney Stodden has a brand new pair of boobs, so to show them off she covered her nipples with pasties, wriggled into a leather thong, threw on her best fishnet dress, and went clubbing in Hollywood. Oh, and then she made out with her mother. Well, come on — what would you wear to make out with your mom? Courtney and her husband Doug Hutchinson (resplendent in guy-liner) posed for the assembled paparazzi on their way to Plastic Martyr’s Birthday Bash at Bar Sinister, making out with each other while wearing matching cross necklaces that unfortunately didn’t ward off anything. But if the sight of Doug and Courtney sucking face doesn’t faze you, just wait — because at around the 2:38 mark, she starts smooching with momager Krista, who was also in attendance. No, we don’t know why. And yes, this is the same person who tried to convince us her daughter would never do porn. Now if you’ll excuse is, we have some bleach to pour into our mind’s eye.

If you were busy checking out the fireworks in your locality, or if you were already passed out after your food and beer orgy with America, you may have missed the outstanding show the Boston Pops puts on every year in Boston for the Fourth of July. Given the events that transpired this year in Boston with the Marathon bombing and the subsequent manhunt, this year’s Boston Pops performance obviously carried more weight. It was therefore all that more special when MBTA Transit Police officer Dick Donohue, who was seriously wounded after a shootout with the bombing suspects, came out on crutches to lead the Pops in a rousing rendition of the Dropkick Murphy’s “I’m Shipping Up To Boston.” You don’t get more patriotic than the Dropkick Murphys (at least in Boston). If you were busy checking out the fireworks in your locality, or if you were already passed out after your food and beer orgy with America, you may have missed the outstanding show the Boston Pops puts on every year in Boston for the Fourth of July. Given the events that transpired this year in Boston with the Marathon bombing and the subsequent manhunt, this year’s Boston Pops performance obviously carried more weight. It was therefore all that more special when MBTA Transit Police officer Dick Donohue, who was seriously wounded after a shootout with the bombing suspects, came out on crutches to lead the Pops in a rousing rendition of the Dropkick Murphy’s “I’m Shipping Up To Boston.” You don’t get more patriotic than the Dropkick Murphys (at least in Boston).