Usually, an obituary is a place to pay homage to the recently departed. But not always. A rather unflattering obit recently ran in the Reno Gazette-Journal that did not exactly paint the woman at the center of it in the best light: "Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.” The obit was so vicious it was removed from the paper’s website, although you can still find it and read on in shock. Do you think the paper was right to remove the obit? Or should they honor the wishes of the departed’s children, even if their tribute to their late mother is a bit harsh?

A clown has scared the Dickens out of people in the British town of Northampton by hanging around the area every night since Friday the 13th. Insert your favorite ‘It’ joke here. The clown has created such a stir that it now has its own Facebook page and Twitter handle. Take a look at some of the pictures and decide for yourself just how scared you would be if you saw this guy loitering on the streets. We know we’d be terrified.

Back-to-school season is well underway, which also means homework is once again a reality. Ugh, major bummer. But when you’re a youngster, homework isn’t all that bad! That’s because kids make it way less boring by being straight up and honest (read: hilarious). For example, when a teacher asks a kid to write what he or she wants to do in the future and the student puts “get a girlfriend,” hey– they’re just being truthful. Check out even more funny homework responses below.

Aaron Paul is in Boise today. There is almost certainly a legitimate, reasonable, easily uncovered explanation for this, but we are not going to get into it right now because all it will do is distract us from the more important issues at play. Namely, that Aaron Paul ran around downtown Boise today throwing tickets to a Breaking Bad screening out windows and getting people to yell “BITCH” at the top of their lungs, as though he somehow became a cross between Ferris Bueller and Willy Wonka. But I should back up. Yesterday, Aaron Paul tweeted this:

Everyone’s favorite comedian Louis CK just won a Creative Arts Emmy (Emmy for short) for “Outstanding Writing In A Variety Special” for his HBO special “Oh My God.” The ginger-haired funnyman wasn’t at the award show itself, however. Probably because he’s kind of a badass like that and just didn’t want to show. Or it could be something like shingles. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. THR made a note of CK’s absence. “Oh My God” was, as you may remember, pretty brilliant. Here’s his now-infamous closing bit, “Of Course But Maybe.”

Sleepy Hollow has a pretty basic conceit; Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman wake up in 2013 and rumble. But as goofy as the idea is, the show might actually be pretty good, or at least willing to embrace its fundamental silliness enough to be a lot of fun. Here’s a pretty lengthy trailer Fox has thrown together to explain the show a little bit. And, honestly, it’s a lot more engagingly goofy than you might anticipate, being as it’s a drama on Fox from the guys who wrote the Star Trek reboot. Also, the Headless Horseman packing a glowing axe and an automatic weapon is kind of a selling point:

Guinness World Records 2014 is now out, and this year they’ve added a new record for world’s largest Star Wars collection. The award went to Steve Sansweet, who owns approximately 300,000 pieces of Star Wars memorabilia, although he kind of cheated to get them. See, for 14-years Sansweet was director of specialty marketing at Lucasfilm — in other words, he was the guy in charge of all the licensed Star Wars stuff, and could probably just put aside one of everything they made for himself. That said, he still has some pretty unique items, like an animatronic Katina band, multiple full-sized Lego statues and every Star Wars arcade machine ever made.

Here’s two quick somewhat kind-of, sort-of related comic-book/TV related trade news stories: First up, Ben Affleck — who was recently cast as a Batman described as “tired and weary” in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel sequel — will also be directing his first televison pilot (quick aside: How awesome would it have been if Affleck were Batman, and Jon Hamm were Superman, as had been rumored before Henry Cavill took the role?) The pilot is for a Fox drama (boo! Why not cable, Ben?) It’s called The Middle Man, and it’s a crime drama set in 1960′s Boston, so it’s right up Affleck’s alley. According to the press release: “The Middle Man focuses on the relationship between the FBI agent responsible for taking down the Italian-American mafia and his confidential informant, an Irish-American gangster. Throughout the relationship, ‘the duo’s actions inadvertently give rise to the Irish-American mob in this timeless Boston crime saga.’” So, it’s the precursor to the Whitey Bulger/Stephen Flemmi gang? The Middle Man will be vying for a slot on the Fall 2014 schedule over on Fox. Meanwhile, in news more directly related to comic books, the CW has cast the lead for its planned Flash series. The character will be introduced in The CW’s Arrow during the second season, and if the CW likes it (they will), the network will roll out a Flash series. Who will play the Barry Allen, aka, The Flash? A kid named Grant Gustin, who some may know from Glee. What can we expect?

After DC announced a new Harley Quinn series with writers Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, they held a contest to let a fan draw a page for Harley Quinn #0. Unfortunately, one of the things they asked contestants to draw on spec was a scene depicting a naked Harley Quinn committing suicide: "Harley sitting naked in a bathtub with toasters, blow dryers, blenders, appliances all dangling above the bathtub and she has a cord that will release them all. We are watching the moment before the inevitable death. Her expression is one of “oh well, guess that’s it for me” and she has resigned herself to the moment that is going to happen." [DC's Open Talent Search] That artists were expected to draw sexualized violence of a woman before they could be considered for a job at DC caused just a wee bit of a kerfuffle, especially among people not familiar with the usual cartoon violence of the Harley Quinn character. This came to our attention last week when an epic rant about the contest went viral as f*ck with over 43,000 notes on Tumblr. Oh yeah, and this contest was announced right before National Suicide Prevention Week. The Mary Sue has an excellent recap of the blowout, but we’ll attempt to summarize. Jimmy Palmiotti responded that he should have included a “description of tone and dialogue” with the scene, adding that “it was supposed to be a dream sequence with Amanda and I talking to Harley and giving her a hard time. I should have also mentioned we were thinking a Mad magazine / Looney Tunes approach was what we were looking for.” He also said the fault didn’t lie with DC Comics for the lack of context with the suicide scene. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, American Psychiatric Association, and National Alliance on Mental Illness sent a statement to The Huffington Post stating their disappointment. Now DC Comics has responded to that statement, telling HuffPo: "The purpose of the talent search was to allow new artists an opportunity to draw a single page of a 20-page story. True to the nature of the character, the entire story is cartoony and over-the-top in tone, as Harley Quinn breaks the 4th Wall and satirizes the very scenes she appears in. DC Entertainment sincerely apologizes to anyone who may have found the page synopsis offensive and for not clearly providing the entire context of the scene within the full scope of the story." I’m still surprised that the backlash surprised DC. Did they not know that asking hopeful artists to depict a suicide, particularly the suicide of a naked woman, could piss people off? This should be a reminder that a diversity of backgrounds is something every workplace should have. Case in point, before the New 52 relaunch, 12% of DC’s creators were female. And after the relaunch? Only one percent female creators. Generally speaking, you’re going to have some serious blind spots and find yourself scrambling to make apologies after the fact if your creators are limited to 99% one gender or one race or one socioeconomic or geographic background, etc. And don’t be that guy who comments, “but women don’t read comics DURRRR” because they do and that guy sucks.

Grand Theft Auto V has seen nearly three million preorders in the United States alone. But not everybody preorders, or some of us have just scraped together the money to pick up the game. So the question becomes… how should you buy it? We break out the pros and cons of each choice. And, of course, if you’ve got others, let us know.

Well, you just knew it was coming; some bone-headed corporation would — in an impossibly misguided attempt to promote their brand by invoking 9/11, or something — would cross the line and spark an outrage. And AT&T has laid claim to the prize. Yes, in what will surely go down as one of the more ill-conceived bits of product placement in the history of advertising, AT&T tweeted “Never Forget” along with photo of an AT&T phone held up in place of the Twin Towers from it’s official account this afternoon. Naturally, a few folks are outraged about this…

The iPhone 5c is pretty. The iPhone 5S is impressive, with bells and whistles like a more advanced camera and a fingerprint scanner. And you shouldn’t buy either of them. I’m not saying this to be contrary, or to pick a fight with Apple fans. I’m saying this because, on a practical level, buying most phones, not just the iPhone, does not make sense anymore. Stop and consider when the iPhone was first introduced, in 2007. There was nothing like it, and it revolutionized smartphones. But the iPhone’s main customer base was never you and me. It was the carriers. Remember, when a phone is subsidized, it means the carrier has given Apple a massive wad of cash already, up to $500 a phone; recouping that money is their problem, not Apple’s. And boy, is it ever a problem. So, locking you into a two-year contract is no longer a matter of pure profit for wireless carriers; when you buy an iPhone, it is an absolute necessity. The problem is that increasingly, the two year wireless contract is an endangered species. As technologies like ubiquitous WiFi and white-space broadband propagate courtesy of companies like Google, carrier networks will be less and less crucial to communications. It’s pretty likely that within ten years, we won’t be using carrier networks for data at all and possibly barely use them for voice communications. And it makes even less sense if you want to stay on the cutting edge of technology whether you’re a geek who likes the toys or need the power for work: Every cell phone manufacturer updates their hardware every year, and it’s generally at least incrementally better. I’m just using the iPhone as an example; realistically you can apply this to many other phones. So, essentially, at some point in this cycle, probably sooner rather than later, you will be locked into a contract you no longer need or want but have to keep paying for. And that’s not the only problem.

It’s very rare that an object can violate your Constitution rights just by existing. Leave it to Apple, and the iPhone 5S, to somehow pull this off. Specifically, the iPhone 5S’s fancy new fingerprint scanner basically is an accidental end-run around the Fifth Amendment. How the hell does that work? It comes down to what the Supreme Court has defined as “testimonial,” as Wired breaks down: If the police demand that you give them the key to a lockbox that happens to contain incriminating evidence, turning over the key wouldn’t be testimonial if it’s just a physical act that doesn’t reveal anything you know. However, if the police try to force you to divulge the combination to a wall safe, your response would reveal the contents of your mind — and so would implicate the Fifth Amendment. In other words, if for some reason the police want to take a look at your phone, if you use a fingerprint scanner, they can make you open it and browse through. But if it’s password-encoded, they can’t. Oh, those wacky laws! Of course, this would also be a violation of the Fourth Amendment but that one seems to be on hold lately. Wired notes that requiring both the fingerprint scanner and a combination to access your phone would make it a violation of the Fifth, and probably something Apple should do post-haste. It’s also a valuable reminder that as technology advances, laws do not automatically advance with them, and sometimes that can create severe problems. But hey, at least the fingerprint scanner is all fancy!

The critics weren’t the only ones disappointed in Star Trek The Video Game. J.J. Abrams tells GamerHub (video below) that the game “was obviously a big disappointment to me. We were actually involved from the very beginning, and then we sort of realized that it was not going in a place where we were going to get what we wanted. So we dropped out, and they continued to do it despite… y’know.” Yahoo Games says developer Digital Extremes has pointed fingers at Paramount, claiming the studio’s heavy involvement was a burden, but Abrams [blames] the developer — and even thinks the glitchy game might have hurt Star Trek Into Darkness at the box office. “For me, emotionally, it hurt because we were working our asses off making the movie and then this game came out and it got — this isn’t even my opinion — it got universally panned,” he said. “And I think that it was something without question that didn’t help the movie and arguably hurt it.” [Deadline] Oh, so that’s why a group of fans voted Star Trek Into Darkness the worst Star Trek movie. Because of the video game. That could be possible; I still hate E.T. and telephones to this day. In the video below, Abrams goes on to talk about “a couple of projects” they’re working on with Valve, including a game that isn’t meant to be ancillary to any movie. Will it involve collecting mystery boxes then never opening them? Is the final boss a disappointing smoke monster?

AMC, which cancelled The Killing last week, is losing Breaking Bad at the end of this month, and Mad Men next year, and still hasn’t found a viable replacement for either series (Low Winter Sun, sure as hell isn’t it), looks to be doing for The Walking Dead what the Saul Goodman spin-off is doing for Breaking Bad, which is to say: If you can’t succeed with new properties, just spin off the old. Indeed, AMC announced today that it is in the early stages of developing a spin-off to The Walking Dead, set for 2015. Details are scarce. Here’s what AMC had to say, according to TVLine. “Building on the success of the most popular show on television for adults 18-49 is literally a no-brainer,” said AMC prez Charlie Collier in a statement. “We look forward to working with Robert, Gale and Dave again as we develop an entirely new story and cast of characters. It’s a big world and we can’t wait to give fans another unforgettable view of the zombie apocalypse.” I wouldn’t call it a “no brainer,” since you’ll be diluting the power of the strongest series on the network, but for financial reasons, I see what they mean. Series creator Robert Kirkman added this: “After 10 years of writing the comic book series and being so close to the debut of our fourth, and in my opinion, best season of the TV series, I couldn’t be more thrilled about getting the chance to create a new corner of The Walking Dead universe. The opportunity to make a show that isn’t tethered by the events of the comic book, and is truly a blank page, has set my creativity racing.” We’ll bring you more details when they’re announced.

There are certain sci-fi movies we can watch every time they're on TV. Among these rewatchable sci-fi flicks is Luc Besson's The Fifth Element (1997). It has everything sci-fi goes great with: the humor, the refusal to take itself too seriously, the realistically incompetent authority figures (some things never change), the cool visuals and wardrobe, or the eclectic cast. Tommy "Tiny" Lister as the President? Yes please. Luc Besson recently gave a long interview about numerous things, like never getting paid for American adaptations of his Nikita, but here's the part of The Playlist's interview we zoned in on:

Animals are naturally social creatures. When prey and predator relationships aren't in play, you might be surprised how well these critters can get along! Barry Bland managed to capture these awesome moments of friendship with his photography skills.

San Francisco's central neighborhood, the Tenderloin, once describe Dave Chapel "there aint nothing tender about that loin", is home to many residential in and outside the building. Found on Yelp, a San Francisco, internet company is personal favorite Crack Head Stories. The converstation was "finished" a few years ago, but still are available to read on yelp.com. Jason "Meatatarian!" B. says: While waiting for the bus on market, a crackhead decided he needed to use the bathroom on the curb. He then proceeded to ask everyone around, "you gots toilet paper?" Jewsyka V. says: I think when I first moved to the TL and my friend and I were walking past a guy who was just babbling complete stream of consciousness insanity, and then we blipped into his radar and he suddenly asked, very philosophically, "what is the colors of the hairs on a beautiful vagina?" would be my favorite moment. Chelsey G. says: Well I work iin the TL so I have quite a few. One of my favorites is when I was walking to work feeling clean and professional and a babbling crackhead with a toilet plunger started screaming at me and comming at me pushing the toilet plunger at me. I managed to swifty get away with out being touched by the plunger. It was pretty great. Vanessa "slipping into something more freudian" D. says: not sure if the guy was a crackhead, but i was coming back from a friend's house party and i found this gross man just SLEEPING in the driver's seat in my car! he busted the window, but nothing was taken. it was the weirdest thing. Eric "Paris Hilton" G. says: Crackhead older guy on BART train quietly until he got to his stop at 12st oakland when he stood up proclaimed- "So long everybody! I'm going to go snort some coke and stick my tongue up a prostitute's asshole. " Several of us applauded, (after the doors were firmly shut). Oh I forgot the best part- Some young guy from the back of the train yelled back at the guy before he stepped off- "Good luck with that!" John "JP" P. says: Walking down the street in the Haight, some guy, draggin a toaster by the cord behind him asking for change for his pet , "sparky". Wendy X. says: well, he was drunk, not on crack. I was eating at chabaa at about 12am ish. apparently this drunk guy thought the parking meter was his wife or something... started doing some pole dance w/ the parking meter while crying. a police car was passing by&he drops dead&falls "asleep" it was pretty hilarious, but kind of sad=[ Lib "go scratch" P. says: not my favorite but most disgusting. Sitting in a bar in the mission on a sunny afternoon visiting my friend/bartender. A working gal with an obvious drug habit came in and asked if she could use the bathroom. She said it was an emergency. My friend said no, that there was a strict policy not to let non-paying ppl. in. I actually argued w/ the bartender and said she looked distressed. But still a no go. Gal storms out, pulls down her pants and within seconds had explosive d. all over the front door area. I felt bad for her. Martin "What I gotta doooooo?" B. says: I used to live across the street from a crack house and saw this lady crackhead walking around topless in the middle of the street in the pouring rain. This other dude would play frisbee with himself in the driveway between two parked cars. He had about 8 feet of space and would try to pop the frisbee up in the air on his fingers over and over again. Crazy people and never a dull moment. I really don't miss it at all Harmonika S. says: It's 7 am on a Winter morning, riding the 71 Haight to work in the upper Haight. 1989. At Divisadero, a crack addict gets on the bus and drops his crack rock into the glass coin catcher, then proceeds to kick the shit out of the device, frightening the driver and just about everyone else OFF the bus ( I had to stay and watch) until he retrieved his precious rock. The police were called, the crackie ran away, and we all had to wait for another bus. Barry "oneness is achieved by recognizing yourself" A. says: Riding shotgun with a co-worker and we pull up to the light on the corner of 11th n Mission. Dude that is a spitting image of Clint Howard is leaning against the green City trash receptacle. Sitting on top that trash receptacle displayed proudly in the center is a capped jar of the jelly size/type. It appears to be filled with urine. Me: "Ey man, that's a nice lookin' jar a piss ya got there" Clint: *picking up jar and holding it up to his face in a slightly disturbing, potentially "throw ready" position* "I'M GOING TO THE DOCTOR!!!" Co-worker and I: "Oh shit!" The light turned green at the perfect time. I almost got us piss-bombed. Still funny. This was in '00.

Self-published book... by Bensa Magos, "the Phrenology of Barack Obama" is already making a internet stir. Here is the publishers description by Bensa Magos about his book and a scary video showing nothing. brains.... brains...........

California, rush to the gold is the states nation highest minimum wage at $10 an hour. Fazed in the next 3 years, California's Legislature passed the bill last Thursday, signed by Gov. Jerry Brown calling it, "an overdue piece of legislation that would help working-class families." The last raise was over 6 years ago to its previous $8 minimum. Concerns of the bill effect: Will the cost for the employer be to much for affording an employee? aka "job killer". Over the previous years personal experience in San Francisco, California; I would say no. More likely to happen and seen is a full time employee at 40 hours cut down to 30 or even 20 hours, eliminating the cost of insurance for employers and hiring a second "cheaper" part-time employee. I being a college educated part-time employee and not a member of Congress. Cities like San Francisco has its minimum wage at $10.50. While the new bill is razing minimum wage it is not set for inflation, at the same time, San Francisco Area prices went up 0.5 percent over the past two months and 2.6 percent from a year ago, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics Consumer Price Index. "The federal minimum provides $15,080 a year assuming a 40-hour work week, which is $50 below the federal poverty line for a family of two. More than 15 million workers nationally earn the national minimum, which compares to the median national salary of $40,350, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics." President Barack Obama has "sought" to increase the federal minimum wage from &7.25 to $9 an hour. Below are some graphs to show Consumer Price Index of San Francisco, as well as, Prices graph of what our wages can afford.

BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE. Today, Ben Schwartz, the actor who portrays one of TV’s greatest recurring characters, Jean-Ralphio Saperstein from Parks and Recreation, turns 32, which is also the number of Snakejuice shots it takes before anyone would think about coming home with Jean-Ralphio. In honor of Schwartz, who also stars on Showtime’s House of Pies and will soon appear in Better Living Through Chemistry with Olivia Wilde AND Sam Rockwell, let’s take a look at some life lessons Jean-Ralphio has shared with us.

Goddammit, people who make commercials: stop being good at your job. It’s never a pleasant feeling when you realize you’re being emotionally manipulated by a big business trying to sell you a product, but between Fiona Apple’s “Pure Imagination” Chipotle ad and now Thai communication provider TrueMove H’s three-minute short film/commercial, well, let’s just say some people took Don Draper’s Hershey’s prostitute monologue to heart. Who knew ad people even had hearts?

Us normal people, we complain about things on Twitter, to our friends, and in the comments sections of websites dedicated to Breaking Bad and occasionally other TV shows. We rarely do anything about the thing we’re upset about, because the things we’re upset about rarely matter. Or we’ll move onto something else to bitch about after a day, and the cycle starts a-new. Think about how mad you have to be to actually do something, about the number of steps it takes to go from watching a dumb awards show on MTV to being so shocked and appalled that you file an official complaint with the FCC about the horrors you just saw. Eh, I’d rather GIF it. Lucky for those of us who know which battles are worth fighting for (BRING BACK ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT … wait, they did what?), there are those who live their lives constantly on the lookout for something to be offended by. Many, many, many people were angered by Miley Cyrus’s VMAs performance, and many, many of the many, many, many wrote to the FCC, the list of which the Smoking Gun obtained. Here are some of our favorites.

Two things that I love unconditionally: 1) Stories about eccentric musicians, as told and/or reenacted by Dave Chappelle; and 2) Stories about Kanye West, as told or reenacted by anyone. In the first category, we have the famous Rick James and Prince sketches from Chappelle’s Show. In the second, we have lots, most notably Aziz Ansari’s story about the time he hung out at Kanye’s house and walked in to find him silently bumping along on the couch to his own album. (Posted below.) But today is a great day because now those two things have been welded together by the gods and presented to us as a gift. At a recent stop in Illinois on the much-discussed Oddball Comedy and Curiosity Festival, Chappelle told this story about the time Kanye performed on Chappelle’s Show just as he was starting to blow up, and it is just perfect. Enjoy.