Even at the risk of sounding like Tony Robbins, I believe the key to getting into secret parties is: confidence. Act like you belong there, or better yet, pretend you’re the bodyguard for someone famous like Gwyneth Paltrow, who was in Shallow Hal with…“banana-fingered self-help guru” Tony Robbins. *hears Inception music played by farts* That’s how “gonzagtv” crept his way into an exclusive Cannes party, which had “lots of of champagne, lot of beautiful women…but in fact it was very boring.” If only the event had been for Shallow Hal 2: Tit for Fat.

Of the hundreds of reasons why NBC's The Office was so beloved and so great for so long, the one that always stuck out the most was its reliability. We've all been there: sh*tty job, sh*tty town, sh*tty boss, sh*tty life. For most of us, life isn't going to be easy; you have to make the most of a bad situation, a point Jim Halpert brought up during the talking head montage at the end of last night's The Office's series finale. "Everything I have," he said, speaking as much to the camera crew as himself, "I owe to this job...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job." There was a lot of "stupid" and "boring" in "Finale," but there was just as much, if not more, "wonderful" and "amazing." We want good things to happen to the people we've spent nine years with, and nearly everyone was given their happy endings: Michael has kids with Holly, Dwight and Angela are married, Jim and Pam are moving to Austin for Athlead, excuse me, Athleap, Stanley's officially changed his name to Florida Stanley. But much of the episode felt a little too convenient (since when are Dwight and Kevin friends?), too self-congratulatory (the crowd cheering for Andy, even though we're the crowd and would boo that Baby Wawa; plus, that Auto-Tune remix yikes), too mawkish (Erin reuniting with her birth parents) for it to be truly great. Then again, even at its best, The Office, with its tricky mix of heart of humor, was always slightly sloppy. That was often part of its charm, though; if the show had been too perfect, it wouldn't have resonated the way it did, and this rose-colored episode was "too perfect." (I initially didn't like the Michael Scott appearance because of how inconsequential it felt, until I realized that was the point: he's not the Michael Scott we know anymore; he finally realized not all parties are for him.) "Finale" may have played well in the moment, but I don't think it's one of The Office's greatest moments. But hey, at least we'll have seasons two-seven to come on back to, and yes, that's what she said.

No one acts as hard as William Shatner. I don't mean the kind of hard where someone like Daniel Day-Lewis will spends months, if not years researching, then becoming their character — I mean hard as in HARD. William Shatner doesn't act; he ACTS. He chews scenery the way James Doohan did sandwiches, and that's why we love him. As opposed to certain other Star Trek: The Original Series actors, it's unlikely Shatner will ever appear in one of the rebooted Star Trek films, which is a damn shame; Shatner vs. Peter Weller would have been great. Anyway, here are 10 of James T. Kirk's greatest AAAACCCCCCTTTTTTIIIINNNNNNGGGG GIFs.

Guys. GUYS. Quit your fighting. There’s plenty of Iron Throne to go around. Robb, Joffrey, Stannis, Daenerys, Senile Sadie, you all think you’re the one and only who should be leading the Seven Kingdoms. But you’re wrong, oh so wrong. In fact, as punishment for all the bloodshed and misery you’ve caused (R.I.P. Renly and, oh yeah, all those bastard King’s Landing babies), I’m calling my boy George R.R. Martin to let him know that none of you will ever sit on that horribly uncomfortable looking mess of metal and blister blood. This is how Game of Thrones should end.

As you probably remember and will never forget, Patton Oswalt broke the Internet last month when NBC released a video of him filibustering on Parks and Recreation about Star Wars, The Avengers, The Fantastic Four, and X-Men…for nine whole minutes. It was the most spectacularly Patton Oswalt’y thing Patton Oswalt’s ever done, not to mention the first time in *checks math* forever Star Wars has deserved to be slobbered over. His tirade has now been improved, though, thanks to the work of “iZacLess” who animated the entire sequence. If Star Wars Episode VII doesn’t look EXACTLY like the banner image, I am going to be furious.

As much as I love Star Trek, the original series, the acting in Star Trek: Into Darkness, the movie, is about 34,294 times better (number provided by Mr. Spock). Chris Pine’s William Shatner is better than William Shatner’s William Shatner, Zoe Saldana and Zachary Quinto are given more to do as Uhura and Spock then Nichelle Nichols and Leonard Nimoy ever did, and Alice Eve, well, I don’t want to spoil anything, but Alice. Eve. The one major exception: Hikaru Sulu. John Cho is a very good actor, but no one can play the Enterprise’s helmsman with such delicious delight as George Takei. His slinky “oh my” is a thing of legend, and as we’ve highlighted time and time again, he’s making the Internet a better place to be. BuzzFeed had the wise idea to get Takei, one of the world’s foremost gay rights advocates, to respond to anti-gay protestors who attended the Prop 8/DOMA hearings outside the Supreme Court in March. He’s as good at shaming bigots as he is at fencing.

What the heck is going on in Canada? First, Rob Ford and now, the video below, taken from the Memorial Cup, in which “some local Canadian female anthem singer had to do both the Canadian and American anthems and BUTCHERED the American anthem, forgot words, made up words, sang words in the wrong places.” It’s painful to get through and a decent excuse if America ever needs a reason to invade Canada. FYI: the teams playing in the Memorial Cup (a junior hockey tournament): the Halifax Mooseheads and the Portland Winterhawks, because apparently the Saskatoon Denimbeavers were disqualified for OD’ing on maple syrup.

Your GIFs and selfies, they now belong to Yahoo. The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the “Yahoo board has approved a deal to pay $1.1 billion in cash for the blogging site Tumblr.” All Things D has the specifics: Yahoo has been mulling a deal with the hip blogging site…Sources said that the Silicon Valley Internet giant’s CEO Marissa Mayer has decided that buying Tumblr was going to be “the stake in the ground of what her strategy is going forward for Yahoo.” And that’s to attract younger audiences with the kind of user-generated content Tumblr has pioneered to huge growth.

It’s easy to bag on Saturday Night Live for their musical guests, but just as the “SNL isn’t as funny as it used to be” argument is played out and incorrect, history often looks kindly at the artists the show books. Take, for instance, last year: yes, there was the Karmin fiasco and One Direction should never have performed on the same stage that Fear once did and Lana Del Rey hadn’t yet thawed out of her accidental ice shell, but otherwise, solid. Radiohead, the Black Keys, Robyn, Kelly Clarkson, Coldplay, Jack White, the Shins, Arcade Fire, Usher, the Rolling Stones — even if you don’t like a lot of those bands (*coughcoldplaycough*), it’s not as if they were unworthy of performing on SNL. In a year, when we look back at season 38 of SNL, which ended last night, how many miscues will we count? Justin Bieber, definitely, and probably Macklemore and Ryan Lewis and fun.; otherwise, not too shabby. Rarely spectacular, usually good, briefly awful, not unlike SNL itself. Here are seven of the season’s best performances.

While most of you suffered through graduation speeches from former deans and, ugh, SENATORS, University of Virginia students were treated to remarks from none other than Stephen Colbert. For over 17 minutes, The Colbert Report host discussed UVA’s high party school ranking in Playboy (“I only read Playboy for the rankings”), the university’s ousted then rehired president (“I want to thank president Teresa Sullivan. You are way better than that last president, Teresa Sullivan, she was terrible”), and self-obsessed millennials (“Your generation needs everything to be about you…and that’s very upsetting to us baby boomers because self-absorption is kind of our thing”). But Colbert saved his most inspiring material for the end: “I believe we have given you a gift, a particular form of independence,” he said, referring to the Steely Dan demographic, “because you do not owe the previous generation anything. Thanks to us, you owe it to the Chinese.” Haha, we’re doomed. Hear the whole thing below.

If you’re a leading actor in a movie franchie, you can expect a miniature figurine of yourself to be created and sold by the millions. George Lucas has made more money from Star Wars figurines & merchandise than the movies themselves. And lets not forget the rock band KISS who have licensed their likeness in hundreds of dolls, toys and action figures. But for regular individual in the street, having an action figurine of yourself was something of a dream…until a Clone Factory located in Akihabara, Japan stepped in to fill the void. Using a combination of SLR’s, 3D rendering and plaster moulds (plus a fee of $1,300) you can now have yourself cloned in miniature It’s both awesome and quite nightmarish in equal amounts. Japanese blogger Danny Choo decided to find exactly what went on behind the scenes and below are some images from his day trip to the centre as well as the final result. Did we mention they even clone pets? Let us know what you think by leaving a comment below, would you be tempted to have yourself immortalised in miniature? http://www.dannychoo.com/post/en/26119/Human+Cloning+in+Japan.html

Out of all the items we purchase every day, how many do we keep for over a year? Not many. Now more than ever, we seem quite at ease constantly discarding and throwing away items at will. You might take one last sip from a plastic bottle and toss it aside in the bin or your keyboard dies and you launch it onto the scrap heap for the council to pick up. We seldom keep anything and whilst we might recycle, we often don’t reuse. With that in mind, today’s post is designed to give you little inspiration and some examples of every time items that you can reuse and convert into some pretty cool items for you home, plus they’ll prove to be a major talking point! So next time you’re about throw away an item, just think – it might look really good on your wall, hanging from the ceiling or even make a unique chair to sit on. If you have any suggestions, please leave us a comment in the post below we’d love to hear them!

If you aren't familiar with the show, it follows the various quests and activities of a human boy and his dog as they live and fight monsters in the Land of Ooo, a post-apocalyptic Earth full of candy people, inter-dimensional vampire demons, anus-obsessed ghosts and every D&D joke imaginable. It's a show you either love from the moment you give it a shot, or spend the rest of your life side-eying. Hopefully you're in the first group. Be sure to check out the moments and the other Sports On TV columns after the jump, and don't miss the Peppermint Butler commenting badge we're giving you for sharing our list around and dropping a comment. Do that, and you're tops blooby.

Okay, I feel lucky to have been born in the 90's, because if I was a child during the publishing and teachings of this safety manual, I would probably be damaged for life. Whoever created this had a very direct way of communicating, I'm sure. Check these kinda funny, but mostly "wtf?" scenes from the 1950's kids safety manual, just don't show them to your kids!

Kitties never fail to entertain! Enjoy these cute and funny GIF's.

Colgate-Palmolive has recently filed a patent application for a toothbrush with the ability to deliver a dose of chemicals to the user. It could be used to dispense painkillers, diet pills or invoke sensations such as cold or heat. But the idea has taken it's course particularly towards caffeine. Although this easy to use caffeine toothbrush might sound appealing to many coffee drinkers who don't have the time to make a cup in the morning, or may be need the energy but don't necessarily like the taste, the FDA is skeptical and is investigating the safety of the caffeine dispensing brush, focusing on adolescents and children. I guess we'll find out the future of this interesting device soon.

Animals are in so many ways similar to us. Let these funky birds prove it, and make you laugh!

After getting into an argument with his girlfriend a drunk Taiwanese man performed what is known as autopeotomy on himself by cutting off his penis with scissors. I can only imagine the words that accommodated the action. To add insult to injury, he then flushed the cut off bit down the toilet! Isn't it always the crazy jealous women doing that to their men, wow what a stupid situation. He slipped into a coma from massive blood loss before he was brought to the hospital by his terrified and "never to be happy again" girlfriend. He eventually came out of the coma, and doctors expect him to make a full recovery. He now has an inch-and-a-half of his penis left, and is probably greatly regretting his actions.

Star Trek sure knows how to pick women characters. The names are sexy, but the women are even hotter! Check out these Star Trek hotties from all times.

The Wingjing Streaker strikes again! A young artist Li Binyuan, who has graduated from the prestigious China Central Academy of Fine Arts is known for his outrageous streaks in the Beijing's Wangjing area. Li admitted, "I've done this about ten times." "At first, it all started because I was bored and this seemed fun," said Li. "Later, it just became something to do." He also said that when he becames stuck and frustrated with his art work, streaking helps him release that energy. Although public nudity is illegal in China, a Beijing lawyer named Liu Xiaoyuan said that since that occurred at night (and perhaps didn't disturb the peace), criminal charges are unlikely. What a fun way to vent huh guys? You go Liu!

Nicki Minaj recently gave an interview about her rise to the top of the hip-hop game and she especially emphasized that she never "opened her legs" in order to help her career. She might be a lot of different things, but despite her vulgar and crazy image, this woman seems to be a totally different person deep inside. "When I started being around Young Money, Wayne thought I was shy, but it wasn't that I was shy, I just didn't want anybody to think I was easy. No matter what my lyrics were saying, when I got around these guys, I was a prude, because I didn't want anyone in this game to ever be able to say 'I had s*x with her' or 'when she needed a deal, she had to...' No," Nicki explained in an interview. "And 'til this day, not one single man in this industry can say that and I pride myself on that. That's the only bit of advice I would give the up-and-coming female rappers. You could be as sexy as you want, but just maintain your dignity around these guys." (MTV)

This is one of my favorite memes! I totally feel like him all the time too. Get your laughs on people, and stay badass, so we can make fun of you ;-)

Lets appreciate the beauty and power of these machines! Feast your eyes.

When flu or allergy seasons are around our immune system is under constant stress, and might need an extra hand to cope with all the pathogens. Here's a list of essential foods containing elements that are sure to boost your immunity. Of course besides these, multi-vitamins should be your daily ritual, because I'm sure none of us get all the essential vitamins and minerals from what we eat.