Motley Crue promised state-of-the-art pyrotechnics for their ‘An Intimate Evening in Hell’ residency at the the Joint at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and it looks like they weren’t just blowing smoke. According to preeminent rich & famous lifestyle chronicler Robin Leach, who previewed the band’s set for the Las Vegas Sun, attendees should “expect fire alarms and flashing-light warnings” for a fire-filled show that will reportedly find Tommy Lee drumming “inside a mystical symbol also set on fire” and Vince Neil singing ‘Home Sweet Home’ inside a “white-angel Liberace-esque cloak…that will be sprayed with fire retardant nightly.” Leach secured an endorsement from Vegas fixture Carrot Top, who enthused, “You can feel the heat! All of Las Vegas will know the show’s started — it’s that loud and fiery. It wasn’t just the Joint that shook from it; the entire hotel did.” “There is no show like this. There never has been, and there never will be,” Neil told Leach. “You’ve seen video fire from other rock acts on tour, but never the real thing. It’s more than any rock group has ever produced or attempted. It really is entering the depths of hell. There’s fire all around and fire coming down from above.” Neil went on to insist that fans could look forward to more than just special effects; in fact, he says the band’s set list puts him through his paces more doggedly than most. “I don’t get one break,” he explained. “We start with a song from when we began 30 years ago. We’ve reached back over the years to old hits to match up with new hits. It’s a difficult set list for me vocally — ‘Too Young to Fall in Love’ is no easy song to perform. We rehearsed the entire show in L.A., but we tested the entire set list with shows in Oklahoma and Miami. The reaction was incredible.” The band couldn’t do everything they wanted to do — Leach’s article mentions “plans for robots” that were dropped due to safety concerns, and questions whether fire marshals will allow them to attempt setting a stuntman on fire atop a blazing piano — but the end result still sounds suitably over the top. “We have the best fire tech experts in the world. This is so over the top, the only thing cool is what we do!” laughed Neil. “Basically, we’re setting everything on fire in a way that’s never been done before.” Based on the photo-filled Twitter feeds of Leach and Crue bassist Nikki Sixx, it looks like everybody had fun and avoided the emergency room. The first fan video from the show has now turned up, too — you can check that out below. ‘An Intimate Evening in Hell’ is scheduled to run from Sept. 18 through Oct. 6.

Snapchat is a clever little app. It basically lets people add captions and draw all over pictures then send ‘em to fellow Snapchatters. There are plenty of times this could (and does) get sorta weird, but there are also really clever users who go the creatively funny route. In just a few seconds, this app allows you to showcase your love for waffles or make your nostrils part of the Google logo. It’s magical. Check out even more awesome ways to use Snapchat below.

Warning signs are pretty important, right? This is especially true when they tell us when something’s dangerous or harmful. Obvious stuff. But sometimes law enforcement (or regular folk) go the extra mile and choose to warn people of more-important-than-normal circumstances, like not drinking the toilet water or refraining from licking walls. Trust us– these cautionary signs are a vital part of our society, and without them, we’d be riding the buffalo… or something. Just kidding– there’s no way we can take these warnings seriously, but that’s the best part! Check out 5 of our favorites.

Retta's Donna Meagle makes the UPROXX Spirit Animal Power Rankings for a number of reasons: self-confidence, tell-it-like-it-is-atude, and -- most importantly -- scene-stealing lines everyone should use on a daily basis. And with us conducting a week long Parks and Recreation countdown it only seems fitting to kick things off with a reminder of how much more spectacularly badass we'd all be in real life (or at least on the internet) if we all borrowed from Donna Meagle on the reg.

Whether you’re an iPhone fan or not, you’re probably well aware iOS 7 was released yesterday. For all non-users, this basically means the phone’s software was amped up a bit, which sounds like it’d be totally cool, but as soon as people could download it, Twitter exploded with complaints. Let us clarify– by “complaints” we actually mean “first world problems.” But seriously, it’s rough when iOS 7 suddenly gives you a Paula Abdul documentary on your phone! Ughhh. Check out more of the iPhone struggles below.

When you leave a crazy voicemail, there’s a chance the recipient is going to make a video of it and put it on YouTube. This is why we stick to texting. Fortunately, these people didn’t, and we can laugh at their folly. Inspired by the hilarity of that classic (on the internet) voicemail a man left as he witnessed a car accident, we thought why not go ahead and curate more voicemail videos and put them in one place, so people could enjoy them without ending up on the weird part of YouTube.

“I’ll pick you up at around 6pm in the Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard ok?” You’d be forgiven in thinking you’re about to be taken on some kind of magical otherworldly adventure – but alas, what you’d actually be doing is sitting in this.

The concept of a “Bridezilla” has been taken to a whole new level. A series of emails written by a bride-to-be to her bridesmaids (and shared by one of the bridesmaids) will have you shaking your head in utter disbelief. The bride lays out some crazy ground rules and then tries to show a sense of humor, but, really, comes across as the kind of desperate lady who all the guys hide see and hide in the bathroom when it’s their time to chat with her during a speed dating event. From her obsession with everyone’s weight to her completely unforgiving stance on her bridesmaids’ hair to her need to call herself “The Queen Bee,” it’s clear the man who exchanged “I dos” with her has his work cut out for himself. Yes, they actually did get married. Here are just a couple of the guidelines the woman spelled out for her bridesmaids (the bold is her work, by the way):

To say Eloy Morales is an extremely gifted artist is an understatement. Based in Madrid, Spain, he has been refining his craft since 1995. Possibly one of the best photorealistic painters in the world, the depth and detail of his work is astounding; not only are his paintings photographic in quality, they possess a kind of life to them. Morales uses himself, family and friends as subject matter. He does this so that he is able to better develop the psychological aspects within his paintings. “I want to show how the person is feeling in that moment… this is the most important thing for me”. But how does he create such incredibly detailed and realistic artworks? The secret, it seems, is more to do with blending and layering, rather than focusing on the details…

What on earth were they thinking? It’s a question you’ll constantly be asking yourself with this next post. Now you might be the most prolific and talented musician of a generation but nobody is going to be listening to your talents if your album cover has the capacity to scare children and cause the majority of adults to launch into tears of laughter. In saying that, some of these hideous album covers from Yugoslavian musicians truly are the very definition of ‘so bad so good’. They are SO terrible, you can’t help but want to listen to them just to see if the music really is equal to the image on the front. They might be masterpieces for all we know. As for picking a fav? You can’t really go past ‘Christmas with Rico” can you? If you’ve enjoyed this post, don’t forget to check out our previous features on the worst album covers in hip-hop, the ridiculous fashion of Swedish bands in the 1970′s and also 10 legendary albums imaginatively animated.

We all know the drinking a coffee first thing in the morning, will increase your energy levels with its caffeine boost. But how exactly does it work? And does it really give you a greater ability to focus? If you didn’t have a cup of coffee before starting work, would you be less productive? And just how addictive is caffeine? And what about beer? We recently looked at how beer actually saved the world, but that aside, is there any truth in the rumour that drinking beer actually makes you MORE creative? Surely not? Well, you might be surprised. The folks over at I Love Coffee have created this neat infographic which shows you the benefits and shortfalls of drinking both coffee and beer – remember people, everything in moderation!

STOP THE (WORD)PRESSES. We all need to march down to MTV Headquarters in Manhattan and demand that the 2013 Video of the Year award for “Mirrors” be stripped from Justin Timberlake. NOW. Tegan and Sara have remade their “Closer” music video with dogs pretending to be humans, and it’s the Video of the Year for every year. THE CORGI AND THE DOG THAT ISN’T A CORGI TOUCH PAWS LIKE THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS. #pugs

At this point it’s no secret that Retta, aka Donna on Parks and Rec, is one of the more enjoyable celebrities to follow on Twitter because of her TV live-tweeting prowess. That said, she apparently just got around to watching Sunday’s panic-inducing episode of Breaking Bad a few hours ago and took to Twitter to air a few thoughts. Take it away, Retta…

Ted Mosby: man whore. That’s according to the team at the Daily Beast, who put together a compilation of Schmosby’s many sexual exploits over the course of How I Met Your Mother, as told by the Mother to their kids. The video also insinuates that he’s a bad father, but we’ll get to that. As for the slut part: nope. Someone with a lot of time on their slap-betted-out hands deduced that over a 15-year span, Ted dated 31 women and had sex with 20 of them, including personal favorite Natalia. Those numbers might be a little high, based on false preconceived notions of “right” and “wrong” promiscuity, but they’re not at all unreasonable for a 30-something living in New York City. I’m sure the equally invidious Ross Gellar was nearly as successful in making women regret their life choices, to say nothing of the walking mistake that is Barney Stinson. But we’ll get to that.

Like it or not, fall is here, (pretty much, let’s not get technical about it, okay?). We all know what that means — hot apple cider, digging out your sweaters from the back of the closet, and people going on and on about how much they love pumpkin spice lattes. It was only so long before the market responded, and now are subjected to an onslaught of pumpkin spice-flavored crap so extreme, we think things have gotten a tad out of hand. Here are just a few examples that the fad has gone too far.

If you haven’t eaten sushi before, you really should give it try. Not only it is delicious, it’s incredible healthy for you, low in fat and high in essential oils and vitamins. For centuries the Japanese have been eating sushi (raw seafood) but those easy bite size sushi rolls that many of us partake in today, first stated in Edo, Japan somewhere around the middle of the 19th century. At the time, they were seen as the ultimate fast-food, you could carry around a healthy snack without the need for plates and cutlery. In America it was the trusty chicken nugget, in Japan it was the nigiri and maki rolls – and fortunately NOT kittens, as this hilarious ad might cause you to believe.

When it comes to the majority of our clothes, we wear them, clean them, fold them and store them. And we repeat this cycle until they are too outdated too worn to wear – we seldom actually have fun with our clothes. The same, however, cannot be said for Austrian photographer Bela Borsodi. From her private New York studio, she’s unleashed a selection of freakish faces, formed and folded entirely from fashionable clothes. Titled ‘Fashion Faces’ she’s taken designer jeans, jackets, shirts and sweaters and contorted them into unusual & somewhat grumpy faces. Even more impressive that her origami-esque skills is the fact she did all this without a single drop of glue or pair of scissors being needed. Her only tools were a vivid imagination, buckets of clothes and lots of trial and error. The result? Your laundry never looked so…..lifelike!

Back-to-school season is well underway, which also means homework is once again a reality. Ugh, major bummer. But when you’re a youngster, homework isn’t all that bad! That’s because kids make it way less boring by being straight up and honest (read: hilarious). For example, when a teacher asks a kid to write what he or she wants to do in the future and the student puts “get a girlfriend,” hey– they’re just being truthful. Check out even more funny homework responses below.

Everyone’s favorite comedian Louis CK just won a Creative Arts Emmy (Emmy for short) for “Outstanding Writing In A Variety Special” for his HBO special “Oh My God.” The ginger-haired funnyman wasn’t at the award show itself, however. Probably because he’s kind of a badass like that and just didn’t want to show. Or it could be something like shingles. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. THR made a note of CK’s absence. “Oh My God” was, as you may remember, pretty brilliant. Here’s his now-infamous closing bit, “Of Course But Maybe.”

Usually, an obituary is a place to pay homage to the recently departed. But not always. A rather unflattering obit recently ran in the Reno Gazette-Journal that did not exactly paint the woman at the center of it in the best light: "Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick born Jan 4, 1935 and died alone on Aug. 30, 2013. She is survived by her 6 of 8 children whom she spent her lifetime torturing in every way possible. While she neglected and abused her small children, she refused to allow anyone else to care or show compassion towards them. When they became adults she stalked and tortured anyone they dared to love. Everyone she met, adult or child was tortured by her cruelty and exposure to violence, criminal activity, vulgarity, and hatred of the gentle or kind human spirit.” The obit was so vicious it was removed from the paper’s website, although you can still find it and read on in shock. Do you think the paper was right to remove the obit? Or should they honor the wishes of the departed’s children, even if their tribute to their late mother is a bit harsh?

Aaron Paul is in Boise today. There is almost certainly a legitimate, reasonable, easily uncovered explanation for this, but we are not going to get into it right now because all it will do is distract us from the more important issues at play. Namely, that Aaron Paul ran around downtown Boise today throwing tickets to a Breaking Bad screening out windows and getting people to yell “BITCH” at the top of their lungs, as though he somehow became a cross between Ferris Bueller and Willy Wonka. But I should back up. Yesterday, Aaron Paul tweeted this:

Sleepy Hollow has a pretty basic conceit; Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman wake up in 2013 and rumble. But as goofy as the idea is, the show might actually be pretty good, or at least willing to embrace its fundamental silliness enough to be a lot of fun. Here’s a pretty lengthy trailer Fox has thrown together to explain the show a little bit. And, honestly, it’s a lot more engagingly goofy than you might anticipate, being as it’s a drama on Fox from the guys who wrote the Star Trek reboot. Also, the Headless Horseman packing a glowing axe and an automatic weapon is kind of a selling point: