I'm not a fan of Triple H using his new corporate b-hole character to bury midcard faces, but I'll make an exception for The Miz. I mean, Miz seemed to be making an exerted effort tonight to prove he deserves every bit of Triple H poop that lands in his mouth, so who am I to argue? The opening segment started with Miz interrupting Triple H and cutting a "Really?" peppered "angry" promo before Triple H cut him off to drop some truths. Truths like, "We gave you a fair one-and-one match against Randy Orton two weeks ago which you lost in spectacular fashion, and Monday's Miz TV segment was going fine until you insulted my wife apropos of nothing, so shut the f--k up." Watch Miz's face go from "mildly confident by Miz standards" to "Oh, s--t, oh God, why did I raise my hand? I want to sit down." during Hunter's evisceration. It's wonderful. Then Triple H finally lets Miz get a word in edgewise, and the best comeback he can summon is "I should have changed the W to a B, LOL" and Triple H, a man who tears Paul Heyman's shirt off and slaps his tits into oblivion every time he even mentions his children, can't even be assed to get upset. The Miz -- too insignificant to anger the most angry guy in WWE history.

NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is not afraid to lean into pop culture. Whether he’s teaching Uncle Jesse how to play basketball on ‘Full House,’ playing golf with Uncle Phil on ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air,’ appearing on worthless, quickly-canceled sitcoms of the 2010s or simply jumping on the We Hate Lena Dunham bandwagon, Kareem will participate in your popular things and wallow. His most famous contribution to pop culture (you know, besides all the basketball) is still his turn as Roger Murdock, the airplane co-pilot who is also probably Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, in the legendary 1980 comedy Airplane. Randomly, Abdul-Jabbar is now returning to that role in a series of Zucker Brothers/Jim Abrahams-directed commercials for (of all things) the Wisconsin Department of Tourism. OKAY, SURE. It’s a great decision, considering that to date the best Travel Wisconsin advertisement was just a lady with a bunch of leaves on her head. We’ll be sure to share the commercials when they’re available (because everybody loves seasonal Wisconsin footage), but until then, never forget:

The description at Bob’s Blitz reads, “David Zibung, goalkeeper for Swiss Super League soccer club FC Luzern, has his face mashed by Grasshopper Club Zürich winger Izet Hajrovic.” I’m not going to pretend I understand a word of that. Well, I understand “goalkeeper” and “super” and “face.” So I’ll rephrase it to you, the similarly uneducated in the ways of soccer, as “it is super gross when this goalkeeper gets stomped in the face.” Here’s some solid advice: if you are on a field with a bunch of guys wearing spikes on the bottom of their shoes, squared-off nubs they may be, try not to let those spikes get onto/into your face. This is what happens (warning – it’s pretty bloody):

This isn’t new news at all, but like most treasures of the Internet, it’s always new to someone. That said, back in 2011, professional surfer Bruce Irons decided to add a little flair to his routine as he actually attached flares to his surfboard so he looked like he was on fire and being chased by flames while he hit the waves. Earlier this month, the video found new life on Reddit and GIFs of Irons’ flare surfing have become a new hit, as has this video of him explaining to Red Bull where the idea came from. If anything, it seems like a great way to enjoy a rush and fend off testicle-biting fish.

Chris Hemsworth suavely throws some shade at DC Comics in the video below. When interviewer Jake Hamilton asks Hemsworth about the rivalry between Marvel and DC, his reply is the stuff of GIFs: