Funny - new посты - page 9

Between open mic comedy and being at The Gathering this past weekend, I think I could go six more lifetimes without hearing someone expecting to be applauded for doing drug use ever again (The Kottonmouth Kings enjoy marijuana – who knew?). But this Supercut, “Drugs in the Movies,” by Robert Jones, is so well put together that you can’t help but enjoy the hell out of it. It’s got all your favorites – Fast Times, Fear and Loathing, Go, Boogie Nights – and extra mega bonus points for including Tim Meadows’ speech in Walk Hard, one of the most underrated and underquoted comedy performances of the last 10 years. I seriously don’t know why that guy isn’t a huge star. Way to go, Obama.

Batten down the cumberhatches: Benedict Cumberbatch is at war with the press, ironically over a situation that could lead to war. Now, I’m sure all you High Brow Harrys and Liberal Arts Lisas have been following the situation in Egypt, so I don’t need to explain it to you; that would be demeaning and insulting to your intelligence. Cumberbatch has no such qualms: while filming Sherlock over the weekend, Cumberbatch wrote a tut-tut-shaming note directed at the paparazzi that read, “Go photograph Egypt and show the world something important.”

It’s a situation that will soon inspire a million hacky late-night jokes: “I know I said Lee Daniels’ The Butler was as pleasurable as a hole in the head, but this is ridiculous.” Tiffany, who tweets as @MsFlowersTweets, went to see The Butler last night in Silver Springs, Maryland. Upon arriving at the Regal Cinemas theater, she and everyone else in the nearly all-back audience were allegedly greeted by armed guards watching them as they watched Oprah. Oh boy. Here’s the full string of tweets.

We live in a land of hyperbole. Everything either sucks or is the best thing ever. That’s why it’s important to keep things in perspective and temper overstatements. With that said, HOLY SH*T KENDRICK LAMAR JUST DROPPED ONE OF THE BEST RAP VERSES OF ALL TIME! Okay, seriously. K. Dot has asserted himself as one of the alpha dogs in rap and his latest verse on the unreleased “Control” from Big Sean’s upcoming Hall Of Fame only solidified that position. Kendrick Lamar is LeBron James. He’s head and shoulders above everyone else rapping at this very moment and it’s not even close. So when he drops a verse like he did here, it turns the rap world on its head. First, he declared himself the King of New York (he’s from Compton) then he dropped this gem: I’m usually homeboys with the same n*ggas im rhymin wit But this is hip hop and them n*ggas should know what time it is And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big KRIT, Wale Pusha T, Meek Mill, A$AP Rocky, Drake Big Sean, Jay electron’, Tyler, Mac Miller I got love for you all but I’m tryna murder you n*ggas Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you n*ggas They dont wanna hear not one more noun or verb from u n*ggas What is competition? I’m tryna raise the bar high Who tryna jump and get it? You better off tryna skydive Whoo. Yes. Kendrick namechecked every popular rapper in his age group and said he wanted to destroy them. In this day and age of chummy rappers and passive aggressiveness, KD rang off warning shots that he’s in a league of his own. Yes, this is the verse of the year and one of those iconic moments in Hip-Hop — scratch that, all of music — that you want to be a part of. So here, listen, absorb and enjoy the moment.

In our roundup of the greatest Prince GIFs that ever Prince’d, we forgot one aspect of the Oh So Purple One’s personality: Pop Culture Prince. It’s as rare as a copy of The Tora Tora Experience in Best Buy; that’s because Prince has no use for culture — he IS culture, at least the bizarre, Batdancing, pancake-eating part of it. He’s recently started to come around to acting like a normal, boring human, though, beginning with his initial encounter with Twitter last week and extending to last night, when he tweeted the artwork for his new Walt Jr.-disapproved single, “Breakfast Can Wait”: Dave Chappelle dressed as Prince logo.svg from Chappelle’s Show.

Here’s why the main event will be fun: Because if you like Sonnen (like I do to an extent) and he wins, he’s going to turn the trash talk up to 12 now that he’s dropping back down to middleweight to chase Wanderlei Silva for that fight that they’ve never had. And he’ll turn up the trash talk beyond that, because he always talks beyond his own fights, and he’ll probably pry his way into the conversation of the Weidman-Silva II main event at UFC 168, because that’s what he’s great at and he's already doing that. And people will ask, “Why do people care what Sonnen has to say?” and we’ll respond, “Because he’s the only one with something to say. Seriously, nobody else, save for Ronda Rousey, is even remotely entertaining, and the UFC needs Sonnen yapping away.” But if you don’t like Sonnen, and I know that’s a lot of you, here’s the best reason for you to watch this main event tonight – He’s probably going to lose. And that’s why I think that the casual sports fan can really start to appreciate the UFC, because there’s nothing more entertaining and hilarious than watching a hyped team or athlete and its fans run their mouths over and over, only to lose. As for the rest of the card, check out our good friend, and smartest fight fan in all of these live discussions, Lobster Mobster’s handy dandy fight primer, and check out the cool new UFC fight card preview slides, complete with my very own predictions (for the first time ever, since I’m always afraid to look dumb) for tomorrow night’s UFC Fight Night on Fox Sports 1.

It's almost unfair how good Patton Oswalt is at Twitter. I mean, he's good at most things (that talented jerk), from delivering Star Wars-inspired filibusters to packing Go Bags, but he's ESPECIALLY good at Twitter. A little over a month after shaming Salon, Oswalt spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon trolling his quick to react Followers, with a number of tweets that look damning...until you read them in context. For instance, the tweet you see above, about Hitler rightfully killing off the Jews — that looks pretty bad, until you realize it comes after, "Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that..." A typical reply: "How is it racist to only want U.S. citizens to be able to vote for people who will represent U.S. citizens?" Fantastic. Read the rest below, and make sure to check out the responses, too.

Steve Wozniak, the chubby, lovable half of Apple, wrote a short review of "Jobs": "I saw 'Jobs' tonight. I thought the acting throughout was good. I was attentive and entertained but not greatly enough to recommend the movie. [...] I suspect a lot of what was wrong with the film came from Ashton’s own image of Jobs. Ashton made some disingenuous and wrong statements about me recently (including my supposedly having said that the ‘movie’ was bad, which was probably Ashton believing pop press headlines) and that I didn’t like the movie because I’m paid to consult on another one. These are examples of Ashton still being in character. Either film would have paid me to consult, but the Jobs one already had a script written. I can’t take that creative leadership from someone else. And I was turned off by the Jobs script. But I still hoped for a great movie. [...] I felt bad for many people I know well who were portrayed wrongly in their interactions with Jobs and the company. The movie ends pretty much where the great Jobs finally found product success (the iPod) and changed so many of our lives. I’m grateful to Steve for his excellence in the i-era, and his contribution to my own life of enjoying great products, but this movie portrays him having had those skills in earlier times."

I blame Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Every since Madonna contributed “Beautiful Stranger” to the second installment in Mike Myers’s increasingly terrible spy spoof film series, it’s all been downhill. The “American Pie” cover. The string of uninspiring albums, from 2000′s Music to 2012′s MDNA. The dating of Alex Rodriguez. The fake British accent. The getting upstaged by M.I.A. The weird naked tributes. What happened? Fat Bastard, that’s what happened. But today, on Madonna’s 55th birthday, let’s pay tribute to what she once was (one of the most inspiring, creative, brilliant icons in pop music), and not what she is today (Kate Winslet, if Kate Winslet owned a BDSM dungeon and pumped weights during breaks). Here are 12 of her finest GIFs.

Jennifer Lawrence gets a lot of play around here. That happens when you're perfect. Seriously, she exceeds even the highest expectations. Talent, honesty, self-deprecation, the ability to f-yeah never doing a topless scene and everyone liking her all the more for it. Yep, that's perfection. So on her birthday we'd like to remind everyone how impossibly adorable she is with context-free GIFs that don't need context because she's Jennifer Lawrence. Here's to you on your birthday, Jen. May it be chocked full of food and facial expressions. #Jennifer+Lawrence

I know what you’re thinking. Actually, I don’t — Obama does. It’s true. But if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking of one of these two things at any given time: Food iPhone While Apple has yet to release an edible iPhone (one day!), there are serious rumors floating around about a gold iPhone. Everyone from Techcrunch to iMore seems to be talking about it. It’s rumored that the gold iPhone will be part of the 5S series and not the super-cheap plastic iPhone 5C. The golden iPhone will probably inspire more nerd boners than Olivia Wilde in a geisha outfit; there may be a possibility that Apple will make the gold iPhone a “limited edition” model like their U2 branded iPods from way back in 2004. Of course, this is Apple that we’re talking about — and the Apple rumor mill is pretty f**king ridiculous for all us simpletons out there. Admit it. You want to touch it. You want to own it. You probably want to smell it. You want to walk down the street with it and have strangers genuflect at your feet. “There goes he,” they will say, “The man with the golden iPhone,” and you will know it to be true, and you shall harness the powers of the golden iPhone and become the master of the cellular universe. Or you’ll use it to text your last girlfriend at 4am after a night of near-prodigious drinking. You know. Whichever.

Recently, Game Freak announced a pretty awesome addition to the gameplay of their next Pokémon games (X Version and Y Version) : Mega Evolutions. These are mid-battle transformations that basically just make your Pokémon a lot more badass. Despite the name, they're actually not evolutions at all--just really cool forms that some Pokémon can now access. Naturally, within days of the announcement, fans started churning out some really cool art of the seven revealed Mega Pokémon. Here are some of my favorites that I've seen.

Before you start writing your own "Control" response, let's consult this flowchart By now you're definitely aware of Kendrick's "verse heard 'round the world." Throughout the week, we've seen a steady stream of responses, some from rappers we expected and some from those we didn't. And with bars as passionate as Kendrick's, it's easy to see how some could get caught up in the whirlwind and want to jump in the middle of the action. Hell, you yourself might even feel the need to get on the mic. BUT HOLD ON THERE. Before you do, Buzzfeed has made this chart in order for you to really see if that's necessary. So take a breath, consult the graph and basically—unless your name is Justin Bieber—proceed to the studio.

Since President Obama took office, First Lady Michelle Obama has made childhood obesity, nutrition and healthy eating her top priorities. Now it seems this crusade has reached a new level, because Mrs. Obama is releasing a hip-hop album... about diet and exercise. No, this is not a joke and no, it unfortunately doesn't include ANY Gucci Mane covers. It does include guest features from the likes of Reverend Run of Run DMC, Travis Barker, Jordin Sparks, Ashanti (hell yea girl, I see you), and Dr. Oz. Damn, she got Dr. Oz on this?! Shit is gonna be BANGING.

Happy birthday, Genesis! That’s right, the Sega Genesis officially turns 24 today. On August 14, 1989, Sega released the Genesis to the North American masses, and we’ve been in love with the system ever since. Sure, it had a rough life, having to eventually carry the 32X and Sega CD on its back, but we still think it’s one of the grooviest systems ever. We even ranked the best games for the system. To celebrate this Genesis milestone, let’s take a look at the 15 Greatest Sega Genesis Ads. SEGA!!

Here are some Signs You’re Playing Too Many Video Games. You don’t want to spend all of your days cooped up inside, eschewing the real world for something a bit more digital. If you’re starting to show symptoms, then you might want to put the controller down and go for a stroll around the block, call up some friends, and have a drink at the local bar. Remember, some of your best friends don’t need a power cord. You’re playing too many video games if…

There is no doubt that Mario is the face of video games. This becomes even more apparent when we try to finalize a list of the 10 Best Mario Games Ever. There are so many classics to chose from, we feel bad for the numerous classics we had to leave out. Most of his games are not only fun, they are classics that place Mario well above Sonic, Samus, Link and various other figureheads in terms of greatness. Just as Hulk Hogan is synonymous with wrestling, Mario is synonymous with gaming. When the average person hears the words “video game”, they will probably think of Mario. So we give credit where credit is due as we pay homage to the greatest plumber the world has ever known. Put down the mushrooms and check out our list of the 10 Best Mario Games Ever.

Bowling is like a right of passage; you’ve gotta wear those extra smelly shoes at least once in your life. Ya know, for the semi-gross experience. Not to mention the actual game is pretty fun, too. The thing is, it’s also very fail prone. But we ain’t complaining! Especially when little kids or unskilled bowlers are involved, swinging around a super heavy ball can easily spell disaster. These 11 bowling fail GIFs prove our point, and all we have to say is OOF.

Granted, Jim Carrey can have dozens of faces in less than a minute, thanks to his amazing rubberface, but he has also undergone quite a few transformations over the years. Thanks to bad haircuts, barrettes, masks, The Mask and CGI, Carrey has had many different looks since his career began. We thought we’d take a look back at some of his more extreme makeovers and put them all in one place for your convenience. Enjoy!

Ah, childhood. Ah, nostalgia. We all remember watching our favorite cartoons on Saturday mornings, all hyped on pancakes and sugary cereal (we miss you Oreo O's!). But does your childhood brain recall the inappropriate jokes the creators hid in various loved animated series? See if you can refresh your memory.

Here are some illustrations by deviantARTist tsaoshin featuring Grumpy Cat in Disney movies. You can catch Tardar Sauce dropping some serious ‘tude in The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and The Lion King. Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Gumpy Cat is officially everywhere. She’s on our clothes, beverages, fine art… even nipple pasties. *shudders* NIPPLE PASTIES. Is nothing sacred anymore?!

One girl played a prank on her sister who was a big One Direction fan. She called it ONE DIR’SHREK’TION.

So, Call of Duty: Ghosts! It’ll have an all-new graphics engine and new doggy buddies, which is cool and all, but what CoD fans really need to know about is the multiplayer. What’s being added to the multiplayer? Well, quite a bit as it turns out. Scroll down for a few CoD: Ghosts multiplayer details and a new trailer… Okay, a lot of this is Greek to me, since I’m absolutely terrible at games like CoD and their ilk, but I’ll try to relay the basics… - Character customization is going to be big in the game. The makers of CoD: Ghosts are promising their character editor is deep enough to create at least 20,000 unique combinations. - Oh, and you can create lady soldiers this time around, because murder and teabagging is just more fun in mixed company, don’t you think? - You can create up to 10-soldiers, each with a unique look and loadout. - News modes such as “Cranked”, in which a kill basically gives you a dose of speed, but also starts a 30-second timer during which you must get another kill, “Search and Rescue” where teammates can revive you if they grab your tags before the enemy, or “Squads” in which you get to put together custom squads to take on missions. - Of course there will be all sorts of new guns, killstreaks, maps and everything else you’d expect as well. Here’s the trailer…

With all the crap going on in the world constantly, I’m just glad this — the work of Lauren LoPrete, a graphic designer living and working in the Bay Area — exists: This Charming Charlie, a collection of Charlie Brown cartoon images with lyrics from songs by The Smiths placed in the character dialogue bubbles.

So apparently, this cleaver girl has made a living impersonating famous UFC fighters on youtube and yes, she's made a couple of them. This one features Tito Ortiz, King Mo, Roy Nelson’s gut and Anderson Silva, among others. Oh, and then she pours soda all over her ass. It is a thing you should watch immediately, and all the way through. A few times.