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Last week, the Disney Princesses were on Instagram. This time, they continue to show just how tech-savvy they are by texting with their princes.

From Chicago-based comics Mike Ferbrache and Duane Freeman comes a nonsensical rehash of the Beastie Boys’s 1994 classic video, “Sabotage,” only this time Cochese and Bunny are replaced with middle-aged librarians named “Story Time” and “The Techie.” I honestly don’t get it and don’t care. I’d watch (and post) a remake of “Ill Communication” track #6 in any setting. Shit never gets old.

Hot-Dog Legs is a Tumblr blog featuring photos of people showing off their legs, but they occasionally switch it up by replacing the legs with hot dogs. The blog will have you continuously asking yourself, “Are they hot dogs or legs?”

Outside of Lady Gaga’s hotel on Sunday a reportedly homeless man was waiting in line with other fans to give Gaga an engagement ring. According to Gaga fans passing the photos around, Gaga graciously accepted the ring. And when she went to pose with the man for photos, he told her, “But I smell.” To which she replied, “Don’t worry, I smell too.” She gave the man a rose, some money, and posed for a series of pictures with him.

It's almost unfair how good Patton Oswalt is at Twitter. I mean, he's good at most things (that talented jerk), from delivering Star Wars-inspired filibusters to packing Go Bags, but he's ESPECIALLY good at Twitter. A little over a month after shaming Salon, Oswalt spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon trolling his quick to react Followers, with a number of tweets that look damning...until you read them in context. For instance, the tweet you see above, about Hitler rightfully killing off the Jews — that looks pretty bad, until you realize it comes after, "Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that..." A typical reply: "How is it racist to only want U.S. citizens to be able to vote for people who will represent U.S. citizens?" Fantastic. Read the rest below, and make sure to check out the responses, too.

Before you start writing your own "Control" response, let's consult this flowchart By now you're definitely aware of Kendrick's "verse heard 'round the world." Throughout the week, we've seen a steady stream of responses, some from rappers we expected and some from those we didn't. And with bars as passionate as Kendrick's, it's easy to see how some could get caught up in the whirlwind and want to jump in the middle of the action. Hell, you yourself might even feel the need to get on the mic. BUT HOLD ON THERE. Before you do, Buzzfeed has made this chart in order for you to really see if that's necessary. So take a breath, consult the graph and basically—unless your name is Justin Bieber—proceed to the studio.

There is no doubt that Mario is the face of video games. This becomes even more apparent when we try to finalize a list of the 10 Best Mario Games Ever. There are so many classics to chose from, we feel bad for the numerous classics we had to leave out. Most of his games are not only fun, they are classics that place Mario well above Sonic, Samus, Link and various other figureheads in terms of greatness. Just as Hulk Hogan is synonymous with wrestling, Mario is synonymous with gaming. When the average person hears the words “video game”, they will probably think of Mario. So we give credit where credit is due as we pay homage to the greatest plumber the world has ever known. Put down the mushrooms and check out our list of the 10 Best Mario Games Ever.

Yesterday, I overheard one dude-bro discussing with another dude-bro his flatlining relationship and the correct procedure to “dump the nut job.” Nut job, I assume, was in reference to the young lady who’s, unfortunately, interested in maintaining a sexual and personal relationship with this Axe-scented turd bag. His friend, delivering his opinion with the intensity of Lincoln at Gettysburg (except while eating four slices of pizza simultaneously), told him to just tell her “you’re just at a different place in life.” I coughed out “BULLSH*T!”, only because that’s actually the way I cough, but in this instance it totally fit into the situation. That line is total BS. I know it’s total BS because I used it too many times to count. Even women know its bull at this point. Or do they? Later in the day, I stumbled across this incredibly accurate and handy chart, while doing an internet search about bullcrap break-up lines and the medical solution to always coughing the word “bullsh*t.” Here are 12 common break-up lines and what they actually mean.

Bowling is like a right of passage; you’ve gotta wear those extra smelly shoes at least once in your life. Ya know, for the semi-gross experience. Not to mention the actual game is pretty fun, too. The thing is, it’s also very fail prone. But we ain’t complaining! Especially when little kids or unskilled bowlers are involved, swinging around a super heavy ball can easily spell disaster. These 11 bowling fail GIFs prove our point, and all we have to say is OOF.

Val Kilmer transforms into Mark Twain for 'Citizen Twain,' a one-man play he wrote. He directs and acts in the play himself.

Here are some illustrations by deviantARTist tsaoshin featuring Grumpy Cat in Disney movies. You can catch Tardar Sauce dropping some serious ‘tude in The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and The Lion King. Well, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — Gumpy Cat is officially everywhere. She’s on our clothes, beverages, fine art… even nipple pasties. *shudders* NIPPLE PASTIES. Is nothing sacred anymore?!

One girl played a prank on her sister who was a big One Direction fan. She called it ONE DIR’SHREK’TION.

With all the crap going on in the world constantly, I’m just glad this — the work of Lauren LoPrete, a graphic designer living and working in the Bay Area — exists: This Charming Charlie, a collection of Charlie Brown cartoon images with lyrics from songs by The Smiths placed in the character dialogue bubbles.

Whomever is responsible for running the Twitter account for the York Regional Police in Ontario deserves at least a free lunch this week – and maybe a day of parking wherever he or she wants – as one specific Tweet yesterday morning racked up 3,960 retweets (and counting) and gained the YPD a ton of new followers. After a Toronto mechanic named Sunith Baheerathan Tweeted a request for some dealers to come sell him pot at work, the YPD took notice and provided quite the hilarity on an otherwise tame Tuesday.

The Breaking Bad star answered questions about dildos, endings, Radiohead, fashion shows, Obama, buttplugs, and bitches, obviously, during his AMA yesterday, which was meant to publicize Kind Campaign, his wife's organization that brings awareness and healing to the negative and lasting effects of bullying. BITCH.

A Reddit user, who goes by the name SirTechnocracy, apparently proposed to his girlfriend by posting a series of meme pictures on the site. According to the post, he had already picked out the ring with his girlfriend, but she wanted a surprising, unique proposal. He also said that commissioning all the pics “took months and a couple thousand dollars.” His additional plan was to put the ring in a safe and engrave the Half-Life 3 release date into it so it could get enough up votes to get on the front page of Reddit. Check out the proposal below. In case you’re wondering, she said yes. Special thanks to Leyawn for the tip.

Dating is tough, but breaking up is so much worse, especially over text message. Break-up texts are hard to write. You can’t be honest with the person, because if you were, you would unleash a fury upon them that would echo through eternity, but you can’t be too nice or it will never end. No matter what you do, don’t do it like any of these idiots. These are the 14 worst break-up texts ever.

A Reddit user shared a prank he pulled on a friend he was pet sitting for while they were out of town. While the prank was physically harmless, we can’t imagine the psychological torment of knowing that crazed Nicholas Cage could be lingering in every corner and crevice of your home. The homeowners better sleep with one eye open for the next several weeks.

There must be a particular star alignment in the sky that sometimes makes us want to whip of something exclusive in the kitchen – and hope that all, in fact, is going to go well! And to meet this urgent surge of inspiration, we have endless Pinterest resources, giving us just the most beautiful and, more importantly, simple looking food ideas. After we’re lured into believing that these amazing looking dishes are effortlessly made in just 3 or 4 steps – that’s where all the fun begins. It doesn’t take long till you realize that the final plates that you saw on Pinterest were probably made by someone who had been working on this recipe for a while. Or had a professional photographer with good Photoshop skills take the picture. While cooking fails may bring some people down, others have learned to laugh at themselves by sharing their pictures online. Even though disastrous at the time, you have to admit, it’s actually pretty funny to see other people fail! Here we have a selection of some of the funniest cooking fails ever!

16-year-old Madonna's daughter Lourdes Leon was spotted in France several days ago. She wore a red bikini halter top, gray tank top, and denim cutoffs.

The Shibe/doge is one of our favorite completely weird memes. It has complicated beginnings, but it is so absurd that we get lost very easily once we dive into this world. The Tumblr Shiba Confessions is probably the best source for weird Shiba stuff, but there are also several subreddits dedicated to the dog. We’ve got a soft spot for GIFs, so here are just a few to give you a taste, and maybe remind you that the internet is truly a very weird place.

You know “the look.” The famous Taylor Swift face she made for many years while winning award after award at major music award shows. That’s just one of the many varied looks the singer and actress has provided fans since she debuted in 2006. The twenty-something actress is quite a character, and has been a character in several television shows, skits and movies. Check out 15 of Swift’s famous looks in this ToC original.

Brian Ashcraft of Kotaku is reporting on a recent trend in China where parents are amusingly dressing their young children in costumes made of hollowed out watermelon rinds. The “Watermelon Kids” craze is all done in fun, of course, although Ashcraft warns that wearing watermelons for a long time could be dangerous because it could “breed germs and bacteria.” Now even some grown-ups are joining in with their own fruit rind costume creations. We previously posted about another Chinese meme, Dogs Wearing Pantyhose.

Ever wonder what the Instagrams of Disney Princesses would look like? You have too much time on your hands. Regardless, here’s what B fo Bel imagines Disney Princess Instagrams. Or maybe she follows them on Instagram and is reporting back? Ah hell, who knows? You kids with your social mediums and whatnot, I can never keep up!

Before you read on, remember that ‘Glamour’ is defined as follows: ‘The quality of fascinating, alluring, or attracting, especially by a combination of charm and good looks.’ It’s safe to say that term applies rather loosely to the following collection of 22 photographs. Although admittedly they aren’t quite as confounding as 38 Of The Most Unexplainable Images On The Internet but they are potentially just as cringeworthy. The question is, are they wonderful parodies taken in jest? Or slightly misguided works of art? The answer probably lies somewhere in the middle. After all, it’s a fine line between comic genius and insanity isn’t it? Do let us know your favourites!

It's a question that's stumped mankind for decades, right up there with the whereabouts of the Lindbergh baby and what's the deal with nunchuks (they're not nuns, they're not chucks — what are they?!?): just how big is the Hulk's...y'know? Is it proportional to his Bruce Banner body, or his engorged Hulk one? This is important. Thanks to Tumblr user Sarmai, though, we now have a better idea what it might look like. He designed a line of sex toys for six of the Avengers, including Iron Man and Black Widow, ranging from vibrators to simulators to a Hulk-colored dildo. (That one's pretty NSFW, so you'll have to check it out at the source.) There's no Black Panther, but that's only because he didn't want to embarrass the oh-so-white Captain America...yet.

Fishermen recently caught a 21-centimeter-long pacu in Oresund Sound, between Sweden and Denmark. Pacus can grow up to 90 centimeters (almost 36 inches) in length and can weigh as much as 25 kilograms (over 50 pounds), and are usually found in the Amazon. Why am I telling you all this? Well… “The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite, there have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea where some men have had their testicles bitten off,” Henrik Carl, a fish expert at the Danish museum, said. “They bite because they’re hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth,” he told The Local. “And its mouth is not so big, so of course it normally eats nuts, fruit, and small fish, but human testicles are just a natural target. It’s not normal to get your testicles bitten off, of course, but it can happen, especially now in Sweden.” [Telegraph] Testicle-eating fish from the Amazon invading a quaint Scandinavian town sounds like the plot of a Syfy movie. Someone get Dustin Diamond and one of the girls from Dream on the phone. This could do for them what Sharknado did for Ian Ziering and Tara Reid. Which is to say, very little, in all likelihood. (Never forget.) In the meantime, don’t go skinny-dipping in Sweden. Or anywhere. Not even your bathtub. These things already made it halfway around the world. You can’t be too careful.

I swear to you guys I was not watching the “Teen Choice Awards” last night. What I am guilty of is regularly perusing r/IASIP and getting way to excited when I read “I thought Fat Mac was back for a second…” It was a bittersweet discovery that Rob McElhenney has not in fact returned to Fat Mac form, but instead that Billy Ray Cyrus is currently the owner of the best Fat Mac impersonation going. Is it 100% spot-on perfect? No, sadly no. Billy Ray isn’t quite fat or lovable enough. But that doesn’t mean it’s too far removed for us to compare some of images with Fat Mac Always Sunny GIFs does it? Of course not. Let’s take a look…