Silly - new посты - page 7

I’ll admit that headline is kind of misleading, because while you are about to watch a video of one-time Queen of the Geeks and Nerds, Olivia Munn, going HAM on a swing, you don’t really get to see the best part. You do see the rope snap and her fall to the ground, but as for actually watching her shoulder become dislocated, followed by her walking around with her arm all mangled like one of those skateboard fail videos when some bro’s arm snaps in two, this is sort of tame. But that’s why God gave us imaginations, and we just have to picture the gory mess as it happens. And maybe I’m there and standing over her while shouting, “That’s what you get for leading C-Tates on in Magic Mike and toying with his heart! He’s an artist, gosh dangit! An artist of coffee tables!” or something to that effect.

Before the Clash, before the Ramones, before the Sex Pistols, before the Stooges, even before Operation Ivy (I KNOW, RIGHT?) there was Los Siacos, a four-piece garage rock band from Lima, Peru, that’s often considered to be the first “punk” band. Unfortunately, their loud legacy has mostly been lost to history (that, and their never releasing an official album doesn’t help, either), but Noisey’s hoping to fix that with a new online documentary saluting the undeniable influence of Erwin Flores, Rolando Carpio, César “Papi” Castrillón, and Pancho Guevara. It begins with lead singer Flores ranting, “Punk rock music is a piece of sh*t. It’s music made by musicians who have no idea what they are doing. Musicians play whatever they want, and people who don’t have a clue get excited about it.” #PUNK.

While you were busy mowing the lawn or teaching your kid how to throw a baseball like a total square, the cool kids in Seattle were all attending this year’s Hempfest over the weekend, in order to “advance the cause of Cannabis policy reform through education, while advancing the public image of the Cannabis advocate or enthusiast through example.” I think that means that they want people to take the legalization of marijuana debate more seriously and to stop thinking all pot smokers look like this guy. Another goal of Hempfest is to get pot smokers and public officials on the same page now that marijuana is legal in Washington, and the Seattle Police Department wanted to show that officers were capable of not harshing the buzz by handing out 1,000 bags of Doritos to people at the event, and each bag came with a reminder that exercising caution is a two-way game of hacky sack.

In a move to save approximately $26,000 per year in salary for a living, breathing human receptionist capable of directing people wherever they need to go, the leaders at London’s Brent Council decided that they’d rather spend about $18,000 (or £12,000) for a one-time fee to set up a hologram receptionist that can answer limited questions about services in the government building and will undoubtedly end up pissing a lot of people off when they have to keep repeating themselves. Obviously, some of the borough’s elected officials aren’t too happy about this idea, as they think that it’s going to end up costing the council more to keep reprogramming the hologram, so it can answer even more questions and probably tell some perverts to put their pants back on. And the only reason they even need it in the first place is because people have been complaining that it’s too difficult to find individual offices.

Sick of all these other soon-to-be fiancees using the likes of Zach Braff and Donal Logue to win the internet with their marriage proposals, Paul Phillips made his own romantic children’s book (with the help of illustrator Yoni Limor), had his girlfriend stumble upon it in the library, and then took a knee when the gorilla proposed to the giraffe because life is a fairytale. The whole thing has of course since been elaborately shared on Reddit. It’s all a little too cutesy for me (inter-species relations aside) but everyone else seemingly can’t get enough so who am I to argue with public demand? Real-life vs. children’s book proposal montage below. Full illustrated story here. Someone please email me when they re-use the book and idea to propose to their girlfriend and claim it as their own because THAT is something I very much want to cover.

This season the NFL handbag policy is making fans use NFL-branded, clear, plastic totes instead of their regular purses and handbags because it “improves stadium safety.” You know, because stadium violence begins with purses. Some fans aren’t taking that lying down. My Purse, My Choice is taking a stand, and simultaneously … uh, bringing purse humor to everyone. Just watch. Seriously. Super funny. Plus: gum.

Who here’s read The Killing Joke? Uh huh, seeing a lot of hands. Okay now, who here remembers the part where Batman kills the Joker? You don’t? Well, maybe you just weren’t reading closely enough. Recently Scottish magician and dabbler in comic book writing, Grant Morrison, dropped the theory that Batman actually kills the Joker at the end of The Killing Joke. Don’t worry, no mystical mumbo jumbo or time-travel theories involved — Morrison’s scenario is actually pretty logical and convincing. Hit the jump to have your mind blown… Yeah, wow, okay — I don’t know if Batman killing Joker is actually what Alan Moore intended, but it’s pretty much a 100% valid reading of what we’re shown in The Killing Joke. For the record, here’s how the last page is described in Alan Moore’s script…

It’s time to head back to school…did you get all your supplies? You know, the knives and fake severed feet and pregnancy tests? These back-to-school specials are clearly for people who know how to live (or at least how to drink too much and make questionable decisions due to impaired judgment). One thing’s for certain — if you stocked up on all these sales, you’d have a semester you’d never forget (assuming you could remember it).

It’s bad enough that Hitler’s gotten all riled up about Kendrick Lamar’s verse on Big Sean’s ‘Control’ now even fictional rappers are calling K. Dot out on Twitter too. Joell Ortiz was the first to respond to Kendrick’s controversial verse with an east coast call to arms then other MCs saw opportunity to some shine by going at TDE’s MVP. We got entertaining disses from Papoose, Cassidy, Lupe Fiasco and most recently Joe Budden and some less than amazing barbs from guys like Fred Da Godson but no responses from the actual rappers whose names were mentioned in the incendiary verse. And just when you thought #thestruggle for rap game relevance had brought one too many C and D list rappers out of the woodwork a peanut gallery of non-existent rappers are giving their unsolicited two cents on the situation. (Written by Nick Nadel and Timothy Tweets created by Kristy Puchko.

If you want to experience an exotic tropical holiday, have you ever thought about going to Germany? When you think of emerald lagoons, shady palm trees, crystal blue water & quaint wooden huts, it’s probably not the first country that springs to mind is it? Until now. House within a ginormous hanger large enough to hold eight full size soccer fields or the entire Eiffel Tower lying down horizontally is the Tropical Islands Resort. A place so tall, that even New York’s Status of Liberty could stand tall with touching the ceiling. The resort of around 60KM just south of Berlin, in Brandenburg, Germany so you can swap your polar jackets for bikini’s and shorts in just under an hours drive. It’s now officially one of the largest structures on the planet by volume, we’re talking around 5.5 million m³ – which is just as well, because it’s also home to the world’s largest indoor rainforest. You’ll find roughly 30,000 types of trees, bushes and foliage scattered through the dome, there’s even bananas trees popping up everywhere to give you that truly tropical feel. There an artificial sea, a long man-made beach and the climate is kept at a perfect 26c all year round – not overly hot, not overly cold. They’ve even take a leaf out of las Vegas’s habit of appropriating historic monuments but recreating Cambodia’s Angkor Wat and traditional Thai homes. And along with not having to worry about the weather, you don’t even have to worry about things like closing times either – the centre is open 24/7. Fancy a swim at 3am? No problem, just remember you’re unlikely to be alone, the pool itself can hold up to 8,000 enthusiastic swimmers. Would you be keen to go along for a day or two? You can make a booking right here, oh and don’t forget to pack your sunglasses.

It might not have the blockbuster budget of World War Z or Brad Pitt in the lead role, but independent short film ‘Spoiler’ is one of the most original and unique zombie films in recent history, in fact, it might become your new cult classic. Set in an post-zombie apocalypse world and with society slowly getting back on it’s feet, the very real threat of infection still looms large. When things take a turn for the worst, Los Angeles coroner Tommy Rossman is the man they call when things go wrong….

Between open mic comedy and being at The Gathering this past weekend, I think I could go six more lifetimes without hearing someone expecting to be applauded for doing drug use ever again (The Kottonmouth Kings enjoy marijuana – who knew?). But this Supercut, “Drugs in the Movies,” by Robert Jones, is so well put together that you can’t help but enjoy the hell out of it. It’s got all your favorites – Fast Times, Fear and Loathing, Go, Boogie Nights – and extra mega bonus points for including Tim Meadows’ speech in Walk Hard, one of the most underrated and underquoted comedy performances of the last 10 years. I seriously don’t know why that guy isn’t a huge star. Way to go, Obama.

Batten down the cumberhatches: Benedict Cumberbatch is at war with the press, ironically over a situation that could lead to war. Now, I’m sure all you High Brow Harrys and Liberal Arts Lisas have been following the situation in Egypt, so I don’t need to explain it to you; that would be demeaning and insulting to your intelligence. Cumberbatch has no such qualms: while filming Sherlock over the weekend, Cumberbatch wrote a tut-tut-shaming note directed at the paparazzi that read, “Go photograph Egypt and show the world something important.”

It’s a situation that will soon inspire a million hacky late-night jokes: “I know I said Lee Daniels’ The Butler was as pleasurable as a hole in the head, but this is ridiculous.” Tiffany, who tweets as @MsFlowersTweets, went to see The Butler last night in Silver Springs, Maryland. Upon arriving at the Regal Cinemas theater, she and everyone else in the nearly all-back audience were allegedly greeted by armed guards watching them as they watched Oprah. Oh boy. Here’s the full string of tweets.

We live in a land of hyperbole. Everything either sucks or is the best thing ever. That’s why it’s important to keep things in perspective and temper overstatements. With that said, HOLY SH*T KENDRICK LAMAR JUST DROPPED ONE OF THE BEST RAP VERSES OF ALL TIME! Okay, seriously. K. Dot has asserted himself as one of the alpha dogs in rap and his latest verse on the unreleased “Control” from Big Sean’s upcoming Hall Of Fame only solidified that position. Kendrick Lamar is LeBron James. He’s head and shoulders above everyone else rapping at this very moment and it’s not even close. So when he drops a verse like he did here, it turns the rap world on its head. First, he declared himself the King of New York (he’s from Compton) then he dropped this gem: I’m usually homeboys with the same n*ggas im rhymin wit But this is hip hop and them n*ggas should know what time it is And that goes for Jermaine Cole, Big KRIT, Wale Pusha T, Meek Mill, A$AP Rocky, Drake Big Sean, Jay electron’, Tyler, Mac Miller I got love for you all but I’m tryna murder you n*ggas Tryna make sure your core fans never heard of you n*ggas They dont wanna hear not one more noun or verb from u n*ggas What is competition? I’m tryna raise the bar high Who tryna jump and get it? You better off tryna skydive Whoo. Yes. Kendrick namechecked every popular rapper in his age group and said he wanted to destroy them. In this day and age of chummy rappers and passive aggressiveness, KD rang off warning shots that he’s in a league of his own. Yes, this is the verse of the year and one of those iconic moments in Hip-Hop — scratch that, all of music — that you want to be a part of. So here, listen, absorb and enjoy the moment.

In our roundup of the greatest Prince GIFs that ever Prince’d, we forgot one aspect of the Oh So Purple One’s personality: Pop Culture Prince. It’s as rare as a copy of The Tora Tora Experience in Best Buy; that’s because Prince has no use for culture — he IS culture, at least the bizarre, Batdancing, pancake-eating part of it. He’s recently started to come around to acting like a normal, boring human, though, beginning with his initial encounter with Twitter last week and extending to last night, when he tweeted the artwork for his new Walt Jr.-disapproved single, “Breakfast Can Wait”: Dave Chappelle dressed as Prince logo.svg from Chappelle’s Show.

It's almost unfair how good Patton Oswalt is at Twitter. I mean, he's good at most things (that talented jerk), from delivering Star Wars-inspired filibusters to packing Go Bags, but he's ESPECIALLY good at Twitter. A little over a month after shaming Salon, Oswalt spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon trolling his quick to react Followers, with a number of tweets that look damning...until you read them in context. For instance, the tweet you see above, about Hitler rightfully killing off the Jews — that looks pretty bad, until you realize it comes after, "Oh, you think repealing voting laws in the south is justified, you racist asshole? I suppose you ALSO believe that..." A typical reply: "How is it racist to only want U.S. citizens to be able to vote for people who will represent U.S. citizens?" Fantastic. Read the rest below, and make sure to check out the responses, too.

Steve Wozniak, the chubby, lovable half of Apple, wrote a short review of "Jobs": "I saw 'Jobs' tonight. I thought the acting throughout was good. I was attentive and entertained but not greatly enough to recommend the movie. [...] I suspect a lot of what was wrong with the film came from Ashton’s own image of Jobs. Ashton made some disingenuous and wrong statements about me recently (including my supposedly having said that the ‘movie’ was bad, which was probably Ashton believing pop press headlines) and that I didn’t like the movie because I’m paid to consult on another one. These are examples of Ashton still being in character. Either film would have paid me to consult, but the Jobs one already had a script written. I can’t take that creative leadership from someone else. And I was turned off by the Jobs script. But I still hoped for a great movie. [...] I felt bad for many people I know well who were portrayed wrongly in their interactions with Jobs and the company. The movie ends pretty much where the great Jobs finally found product success (the iPod) and changed so many of our lives. I’m grateful to Steve for his excellence in the i-era, and his contribution to my own life of enjoying great products, but this movie portrays him having had those skills in earlier times."

I know what you’re thinking. Actually, I don’t — Obama does. It’s true. But if you’re anything like me, you’re probably thinking of one of these two things at any given time: Food iPhone While Apple has yet to release an edible iPhone (one day!), there are serious rumors floating around about a gold iPhone. Everyone from Techcrunch to iMore seems to be talking about it. It’s rumored that the gold iPhone will be part of the 5S series and not the super-cheap plastic iPhone 5C. The golden iPhone will probably inspire more nerd boners than Olivia Wilde in a geisha outfit; there may be a possibility that Apple will make the gold iPhone a “limited edition” model like their U2 branded iPods from way back in 2004. Of course, this is Apple that we’re talking about — and the Apple rumor mill is pretty f**king ridiculous for all us simpletons out there. Admit it. You want to touch it. You want to own it. You probably want to smell it. You want to walk down the street with it and have strangers genuflect at your feet. “There goes he,” they will say, “The man with the golden iPhone,” and you will know it to be true, and you shall harness the powers of the golden iPhone and become the master of the cellular universe. Or you’ll use it to text your last girlfriend at 4am after a night of near-prodigious drinking. You know. Whichever.

Recently, Game Freak announced a pretty awesome addition to the gameplay of their next Pokémon games (X Version and Y Version) : Mega Evolutions. These are mid-battle transformations that basically just make your Pokémon a lot more badass. Despite the name, they're actually not evolutions at all--just really cool forms that some Pokémon can now access. Naturally, within days of the announcement, fans started churning out some really cool art of the seven revealed Mega Pokémon. Here are some of my favorites that I've seen.

Before you start writing your own "Control" response, let's consult this flowchart By now you're definitely aware of Kendrick's "verse heard 'round the world." Throughout the week, we've seen a steady stream of responses, some from rappers we expected and some from those we didn't. And with bars as passionate as Kendrick's, it's easy to see how some could get caught up in the whirlwind and want to jump in the middle of the action. Hell, you yourself might even feel the need to get on the mic. BUT HOLD ON THERE. Before you do, Buzzfeed has made this chart in order for you to really see if that's necessary. So take a breath, consult the graph and basically—unless your name is Justin Bieber—proceed to the studio.

Since President Obama took office, First Lady Michelle Obama has made childhood obesity, nutrition and healthy eating her top priorities. Now it seems this crusade has reached a new level, because Mrs. Obama is releasing a hip-hop album... about diet and exercise. No, this is not a joke and no, it unfortunately doesn't include ANY Gucci Mane covers. It does include guest features from the likes of Reverend Run of Run DMC, Travis Barker, Jordin Sparks, Ashanti (hell yea girl, I see you), and Dr. Oz. Damn, she got Dr. Oz on this?! Shit is gonna be BANGING.

Happy birthday, Genesis! That’s right, the Sega Genesis officially turns 24 today. On August 14, 1989, Sega released the Genesis to the North American masses, and we’ve been in love with the system ever since. Sure, it had a rough life, having to eventually carry the 32X and Sega CD on its back, but we still think it’s one of the grooviest systems ever. We even ranked the best games for the system. To celebrate this Genesis milestone, let’s take a look at the 15 Greatest Sega Genesis Ads. SEGA!!

Here are some Signs You’re Playing Too Many Video Games. You don’t want to spend all of your days cooped up inside, eschewing the real world for something a bit more digital. If you’re starting to show symptoms, then you might want to put the controller down and go for a stroll around the block, call up some friends, and have a drink at the local bar. Remember, some of your best friends don’t need a power cord. You’re playing too many video games if…

Bowling is like a right of passage; you’ve gotta wear those extra smelly shoes at least once in your life. Ya know, for the semi-gross experience. Not to mention the actual game is pretty fun, too. The thing is, it’s also very fail prone. But we ain’t complaining! Especially when little kids or unskilled bowlers are involved, swinging around a super heavy ball can easily spell disaster. These 11 bowling fail GIFs prove our point, and all we have to say is OOF.

Granted, Jim Carrey can have dozens of faces in less than a minute, thanks to his amazing rubberface, but he has also undergone quite a few transformations over the years. Thanks to bad haircuts, barrettes, masks, The Mask and CGI, Carrey has had many different looks since his career began. We thought we’d take a look back at some of his more extreme makeovers and put them all in one place for your convenience. Enjoy!