News

The internet is about as divided in its opinions of Zach Braff as it on the “GIF” pronunciation, but if there’s one way to unify the world wide web in their opinion of you it’s providing a heart-warming assist in a marriage proposal video. I’m still a little unclear on the connection between the proposer, Matt Hulbert, and Zach Braff, but apparently the pitch to real life JD was something along the lines of, “Let’s make it dusty EVERYWHERE.” Really the only thing this proposal is missing is Donald Faison jumping out of a closet and doing the Turk dance when she says yes. Apologies in advance to all the fellas out there whose proposals will forever feel inadequate after watching this.

Damon Wayans, Jr. — who many may recall played Coach in the pilot for New Girl before bailing when his other sitcom, Happy Endings, was picked up — is now likely to return now that Happy Endings has been cancelled, according to TVLine. Moreover, Coach is set for a “significant” season three arc.

We've got two new featurettes for James Mangold's The Wolverine to share with you. The first is called "Logan" and obviously focuses on the badass character played by Hugh Jackman. The second one is part of the HBO "First Look" movie segment. Each one features Jackman discussing the movie and his character, saying that this is the best Wolverine that there is. The movie will open in theaters on July 26th, and I'm looking forward to seeing Wolverine go ballistic and kick some ninja ass!

While there are people who will present things like “facts” and “statistics” that “prove” that the U.S. is no longer the world leader in everything from education to handsome bloggers, I thought that there was still one category that the stars and stripes would have locked up as long as Uncle Sam kept us Super-Sizing everything. I’m speaking, of course, of obesity, and it appears that America can’t even keep its chubby, greasy sausage fingers wrapped around the title of the world’s fattest country anymore. Instead, Mexico has passed the U.S. on its Rascal scooter to take the top spot, as 32.8 percent of people in Mexico are obese, compared to 31.8 percent in the U.S. Health experts in Mexico claim that the problem is indicative of the increasing difference between the wealthy and the poor, and health problems are only going to get worse for those who can’t afford healthier lifestyles.

Maya Arulpragasam isn’t the only one who’s MIA — so is the director of her documentary. (Sorry.) Last year, the Noize Bringer announced that she was being filmed for a documentary, directed by Steve Loveridge, featuring archival interviews with Diplo, Kanye West, Switch, Spike Jonze, Richard Russell, and Jimmy Iovine. Then, over the weekend, Loveridge leaked footage of the untitled-project…then almost immediately quit the damn thing. Though the clip was uploaded by Loveridge, it’s been removed due to a copyright infringement claim from the IFPI (International Federation of the Phonographic Industry). M.I.A. hinted that the film was being blocked from release, writing, “im gonna need @kickstarter and my fans to help make this exist, ive been black listed through normal channels!!!!!!!” Loveridge also posted an email exchange with a Roc Nation representative, who claimed that the label was indeed going to move forward with the project and get it done in time for the release of Matangi and her festival performances. After the Roc Nation rep explained that the leak “screws with everything we’ve been working on setting up MATANGI,” Loveridge replied, “I really couldn’t give a flying f*ck. Count me out. Would rather die than work on this… nothing personal ”. That’s the nicest “f*ck you, everyone” I’ve ever seen.

Chris Pratt revealing the new Guardians of the Galaxy version of himself over the weekend has me contemplating the future physical appearance of everyone's favorite lovable oaf going into the next season of Parks and Recreation. Not only because I'm fascinated by man meat transformations, but also because he got all fit for Zero Dark Thirty not long ago only to immediately get extra chubby for another role right after. Hence why Andy Dwyer Season 5 was at peak chubbiness. Could it happen again? Or will Schur & Co. have to write in a storyline where running becomes much more possible. Chris Pratt: Physical enigma. So as a precautionary measure here's a collection of definitive chubby Andy Dwyer GIFs. You know, for the sake of posterity. Disclaimer: this collection is in no way definitive.

Beyonce and her younger sister Solange proved they were firmly Team Tina in terms of their parents’ divorce. The singers were both no-shows at their father Mathew Knowles’ wedding. Knowles tied the knot with former model Gena Avery on Sunday, June 30, in the Knowles’ hometown of Houston, Texas. But Bey and Solange weren’t making their pops’ nuptials a priority. That may have to do with the fact that Knowles and ex-wife (and mama to Bey and Sol) Tina split in 2009 when it was revealed that Mathew had a love child by an actress. Whoops! Knowles told TMZ that his girls sent their regretful declines because they had other plans already. Considering Solange is busy on the festival circuit and Queen Bey is embarking on the Mrs. Carter Show tour, the idea that they had a lot on their plates isn’t too far fetched — especially if the wedding was planned after their itineraries were in place. Still, Knowles and Avery were engaged for over a year, so… In any case, Knowles explained, “Unfortunately, Beyonce and Solange had previous engagements, which made it impossible for them to attend.” To quote Beyonce in ‘Grown Woman’: “Mmmhmmm.”

If you’re going to hack into a celeb’s Twitter account, you may want to stay away from the women of ‘Jersey Shore.’ They don’t take these things — or anything, really — lightly. And this weekend was proof of that after Jenni ‘JWoww’ Farley’s account was hacked and she struck back. First there a warning from Jenni’s old Jersey pal, Snooki, indicating that while JWoww enjoys a vulgar tweet now and then, what her followers were seeing on Sunday were not her words.

You may recall that multi-hued hair chameleon and singer Katy Perry was recently embroiled in a lawsuit with the company ghd (Good Hair Day), which dropped her contract because she’s supposedly just not that popular anymore. Katy sued — and now we know she won. Katy claimed that ghd backed out of an oral agreement to pay her $2 million for a two-year extension on her ghd endorsement deal. ghd said this was false and sued her, claiming she had a “significant decrease in appeal across Europe” and furthermore her image was “increasingly polarizing … with negative perceptions in all markets” — hence the company’s decision to drop her. According to TMZ, the suit and Katy’s counter-suit were settled with ghd receiving nothing, and Katy being paid “a significant amount of money.” In other words, the rich got richer. How’s your Monday?

Last Friday, after Sony Pictures Television threw in the towel and stopped shopping Happy Endings to other networks, writer Jason Berger went on Twitter and posted a bunch of screencaps of rejected and alternate jokes that never made it into the show. They’re exactly what you’d expect, even if they’re not presented in the ideal format: lightning fast, heavy on pop culture references, and occasionally about Chris Bosh’s weird face. What more could anyone want? Anyway, why am I posting these now, a full week after they went up on Twitter? Well, a few reasons. One, it’s July 5 and there’s bupkis happening anywhere on the news front, so now is as good a time as any to sit back and reminisce a little about a great show that left us too soon. Two, I completely forgot to do it earlier in the week. And three, there are one or two commenters who always pop up in posts about Happy Endings to rant and rave about how much they hated the show, and I figured it would be nice to give them something to do this afternoon. Here to help, gang.

Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi previously had one claim to fame – he was the country’s first president elected through a democratic process. As of this afternoon, he now has another nail to hang his hat on – he was Egypt’s first democratically-elected president to be ousted from office. In a television address earlier today, General Abdel Fattah el-Sisi declared that Morsi is no longer in charge of the country, as he has been effectively overthrown in the wake of the incredible protests that have filled the streets of Cairo for the past several days. The announcement by the army follows the ultimatum that it issued to Morsi to either reach an agreement with the demands of the millions of people calling for his resignation or be removed from office. Despite the pressure from the protesting party, the Tamarod, Morsi remained steadfast that he was the elected leader of Egypt. Today, “was” is the key word. Morsi is now in hiding as the protesters and his opposition celebrate their victory, while Egypt’s government will be controlled by the head of the constitutional court until new elections can be held, according to Sultan Sooud Al Qassemi, a commentator on Arab affairs, whose Twitter feed has served as a good source of both the news and emotions coming from Cairo today.

American inventor Doug Engelbart passed away last night at the age of 88 from kidney failure, and while he’ll be known as many things – husband, father, grandfather and the creator of hypertext – he’ll forever be known as the man who invented the original computer mouse. In a 2004 interview with Wired, Engelbart offered some insight into his technological legacy that he first started developing more than five decades ago. I first started making notes for the mouse in ’61. At the time, the popular device for pointing on the screen was a light pen, which had come out of the radar program during the war. It was the standard way to navigate, but I didn’t think it was quite right…We set up our experiments and the mouse won in every category, even though it had never been used before. It was faster, and with it people made fewer mistakes. Five or six of us were involved in these tests, but no one can remember who started calling it a mouse. I’m surprised the name stuck. (Via Wired, H/T to Tech Crunch) Engelbart patented his mouse in 1970, but it didn’t become an everyday computer accessory until 1984, when it was included with the Apple Macintosh. However, according to Fox News, Engelbart’s patent expired just three years later, after which the patent became public domain and he never made much money at all from the mouse. Regardless, between the mouse and his many other accomplishments, Engelbart is remembered fondly in his industry as a man who saw the future of today’s computers and networking long before anyone else.

Miley Cyrus recently sat down for an interview with Billboard.com to discuss, among other things, her musical inspirations, and she named the five female singers who have had the greatest impact on her. For starters, she mentioned her godmother Dolly Parton as being the influence of her childhood, and followed that up with Joan Jett, because she “represented a time when females weren’t supposed to come out and kick ass” and that’s a pretty solid 1-2 punch. Her third choice, however, was a bit more intriguing, as she said that it’s Lil Kim because “She just is” and then it got a little confusing. “In my past life, I feel like that was me, like Lil Kim is who I am, like, on the inside, and she just makes me happy listening to her music, and she is, like – I just love her.” I don’t know if that means that Miley thinks that Lil Kim is dead and she was Lil Kim before she died, or if she means that in her past life, she was someone like Lil Kim. I think it’s the latter. And does she mean that she’s Lil Kim pre-plastic surgery or Lil Kim after plastic surgery, because there’s a pretty big difference these days.

AFTERNOON DELIGHT: The trailer for this one hit the other day, so that's after the jump. But since this feature is about posters, let's talk about that. I'm not sure I like the neon light approach to this one. For one thing, the poster seems to depict a problem marriage, but the mysterious cure for this common marriage seems pretty obvious: buy that broad her own laptop! That way, instead of sitting there all bored and neglected with no one to keep her company but her Jamba Juice, BOOM, you're LAN partyin'.

The third season premiere of USA Network’s Suits debuts on Tuesday, July 16th, and I’ve seen it. It’s good. If you’ve been following the show all along, you should know that the premiere ratchets up the interoffice politics to an even greater degree next season. It looks like the season’s big bad, so to speak, is Edward Darby, the British guy who merged his firm with Pearson Hardman at the end of last season. Edward Darby is played by Conleth Hill, and even though he was in two episodes last season, and even though I am obviously a religious viewer of Game of Thrones, it took me until midway through the third-season premiere to realize that, “Hey! That’s Varys!” Sometimes, outside of context, it just never clicks.

A couple of weeks ago, Jay-Z and Samsung released a commercial during the NBA Finals to shock the world with an announcement that his new album, Magna Carta Holy Grail, would be released on July 4th for Samsung users and nationwide three days later. Other than that, we don’t know much. Jay and company have embarked on a quizzical rollout that only includes the lyrics to the album. It’s easily one of the most worthless forms of anticipation for an album in recent memory. Rap lyrics with no audible context? Why? But have no fear. We’ve gathered some info that’s leaked over the last few weeks to come up with clues of what to expect from what will either be one of Jay-Z’s milestone projects or the rap version of Star Wars: Episode 1. Take a look.

It's a senseless tragedy that brilliant Tumblr "Mad Men Screenshots with Things Drawn On Them" has been around for years and I'm just now finding out about it. Oh, the times we could have had with acid trips. But much like puberty, I'll take this better late than never. The concept has really hit a refined groove in season six, so maybe the timing is for the best. If I had been on this years ago I probably wouldn't want the next Pete Campbell masterpiece hanging over my fireplace as badly as I do now. I honestly can't think of a better way to ease into the depressing truth that we'll be without Bob Benson, bearded Stan, and Sterling's gold until 2014 after Sunday night. So strap your knees down and prepare to have your Friday made. I defy you not to laugh Bert's balls off.

So, there’s a new Mirror’s Edge game on the way. That’s exciting — or at least it is if you can handle playing that sort of game. I’m both prone to motion sickness, and scared s–tless of heights, so the Mirror’s Edge games are mostly just terrifying and uncomfortable for me. Speaking of terrifying and uncomfortable, some British guys went and strapped a camera to themselves as they were bounding around rooftops and construction sites and the result is a video that looks shockingly similar to Mirror’s Edge gameplay. I had to watch the entire thing through my fingers…

In news that would have the characters on ‘The Big Bang Theory’ salivating, Kaley Cuoco (who plays hot girl-next-door Penny on the hit sitcom) is dating Hollywood’s newest Superman, Henry Cavill. It’s a match made in nerd heaven. Aka Comic Con. “They are totally hot for each other,” a pal revealed to Us Weekly. Said yet another source, Cavill is “a massive ‘Big Bang Theory’ fan” and “has always wanted to date her.” The couple have been decidedly hush-hush about their relationship, but in a now-telling tweet from a couple weeks ago, Cuoco revealed that she loved the new ‘Superman’ and you should too — and to prove it, she included a snap of herself drooling lovingly at a promotional photo of the guy we now know is her new man. Her missive included the commentary, “Everyone go see ‘man of steel.’ It’s fantastic in every single way.” What we’re saying is last month you got trolled by Penny … and you didn’t even know it.

Courtney Love‘s life and music career have made for quite the roller-coaster ride. And while she’s known as much for her headline-making antics as her music, there’s no denying she’s released some incredible songs over the years. That said, there’s no telling what kind of a show you’re gonna get when Courtney Love rolls into town, and on Thursday night (June 27) at the Capitol Theatre in Port Chester, N.Y., fans got quite a unique Courtney Love experience. Perhaps because Love was playing at venues nearby during the same week, this particular gig was sparsely attended, creating more of a small club atmosphere to the show. Love kicked off the show with ‘Miss World’ off Hole‘s classic ‘Live Through This’ album, and with her voice a bit strained she let the crowd sing the bulk of the chorus. While she struggled a bit vocally throughout the set, which was comprised mostly of Hole songs, she had some nice moments during ‘Honey’ and ‘Celebrity Skin.’ Love noted that it was a small crowd and attempted to touch everyone in the audience, and probably succeeded with half of that goal. Throughout the gig, Love exchanged some banter with the a few of the concertgoers, including one guy wearing a Misfits t-shirt, whom Love assumed was just there to go along with his girlfriend. She promised him she would win him over, saying, ‘Misfits dude, I’m gonna own your testes in three minutes.’ She also apparently thought she was in Providence, R.I., greeting that city a couple of times during the show. For the encore, Love came out sporting a white ‘Doll Parts’-like dress, and delivered her best vocals of the night on a cover of the Rolling Stones’ ‘Under My Thumb’ and the set-closing rendition of the Buffy Sainte-Marie song ‘Codine.’

An image juxtaposition entitled “Dave Chappelle predicted fox news” pairing a 2003 still from Chappelle’s Show with a Fox News still from this year was subbed to Reddit about an hour ago and is already supercharging its way through the world wide web, both on Reddit and Tumblr. Because if there’s anything that matches the internet’s love for all things Dave Chappelle it’s their disdain for all things Fox News. Only problem is the Fox News image is a photoshop that received many a RT back in February before anyone took the time to take a close look at how crappy the fonts look. Man, we can’t even enjoy delightful Fox News image memes anymore? THANKS OBAMA. Regardless, I don’t think it being fake really makes it less funny. Just pretend The Onion made it. And the Reddit comments also reminded me that this Chappelle does Howard Dean GIF exists and is one of the only things I think I’ll ever support a Vine for.

If you’re out at the local watering hole this weekend to grab a few cold ones with your friends or complete strangers, you might raise an eyebrow or two when it comes time to pay the tab. According to a recent survey by Restaurant Sciences, while the cost of beers and liquor have seen increases across the board at bars and restaurants across the U.S., the fastest-rising prices belong to none other than the low-range beers. This spike in price is being attributed to one specific beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, so the Los Angeles Times knows exactly who is to blame for us getting less hops for our bucks…

The Foodnetwork decided to drop Paula Dean from their network after using the N word in live television. Since then she has been under quite a lot of scrutiny. What has the interenet have to say about this? Well as always, the interenet is very vocal about about their opinions and use both humor and intelligence to show their reactions. How about we let the all mighty, all knowing internet say a couple words...

This morning as I was trolling about in the internet I was looking for some interesting fun facts. So I came across John Oliver and Jim Gaffigan talking about their wives, and thought "ok these two goofy looking nerds probably scored an average looking wife". Oh no. I was absolutely wrong. I was so wrong, I had to see for myself at least another five times.

As you may have heard, on Wednesday at 10:00 am, Circuit 2 of the Supreme Court made a final decison on the case 'United States v. Windsor' that declared the DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) unconstitutional. Which means, gay marriage is now legal in California--despite prop 8--as well as across the nation. What does this mean for you? Well, if you have a bunch of gay friends, be prepared for a flurry of the most fabulous gay marriages EVER! If you don't support gay marriage, then maybe it's time to exit the planet, because it seems that gay people have been getting married all over the globe as well and there is no place else left to hide. 

Oh! And you know what else is awesome? Wendy Davis, a Senator in Texas successfully filibustered a piece of Legislation that would ban abortion clinics in Texas and make decisions on behlaf of women's reproductive health. Can I get a WOOP WOOOOP!!! We are living in revolutionary times. Let's celebrate with awesomeness from all around the web!

Just when you thought you were having a normal day, hiking through the jungles of Costa Rica, sipping on your all natural fresh ground coffee, and taking pictures, a SLOTH always seems to make your day ultimately unbearably cute and wonderful. May I ask you, dear friends, what is better than one sloth? A BABY SLOTH cruising around with it's mother.

Anyone surprised that this was coming? Last night John Oliver basically reprimanded anyone who watched his show (or, say, stories about muffins) on Tuesday night because they should have been paying attention to everyone’s new hero Wendy Davis. In case anyone missed those crazy events, Oliver gave a fantastic recap. His crack about the shoe deal was particularly brilliant. But the ending? That was the kicker. I won’t spoil it, so just watch yourselves.